'Cause I've Seen Love Die Way Too Many Times, When It Deserved To Be Alive, I've Seen You Cry Way Too Many Times, When You Deserved To Be Alive
--"Emergency", Paramore
I had the opportunity to see Walk The Line the other day. I found the task of deciding which has the better love story, that movie or Brokeback Mountain, daunting. The whole time I was watching it I found myself feeling compassion for the guy because, but for the grace of God, that could have been me. While I appreciated the fact that Mr. Cash set his heart on something that most people would have thought too difficult and too heartbreaking to attain and never stopped attempting to attain it, it made me sad to realize that I probably would have given up long before he ever did. I just don't have the stuff for a protracted courtship. If a young lady were to rebuke my ever advance like June Carter did Johnny, I would have moved on to greener pastures. It's just my nature. But, then again, I'm a quitter when it comes to certain things.
About the only thing I think is sadder than a person not getting what he or she wants and being repeatedly told to give up is when a person finds something substantial and then it somehow goes sour entirely because of circumstances out of his or her control. "Letter to Elise" is a perfect example of this. There's nothing wrong with those crazy kids. Time, familiarity, and circumstance are the only bad guys in that situation. It's not because they have a failure to love each other, it's because there are certain relationships that have no room to grow into anything more. It doesn't make what they had any less meaningful. It just means that that relationship can only remain meaningful for so long before it has to stop. It's the realization that relationships like this are an integral part of life that, yeah, kind of makes me sad. I, like everyone else, would like to believe that anybody I get involved with is going to change my life for the better, is going to have a lasting impact that somehow guides my life in the direction it's supposed to go. I don't want to think that the person I start seeing next is only going to last a brief time and possibly end up being worse for me in terms of growth. I don't want to think about how everything that is good and lovely and sweet about this new relationship may eventually sour because that's its fate. As hard as I try I'm sad to think that there will be people in my life whose destiny it is to leave me sad and alone.
I'm writing this because I see a couple everyday whose best years are behind them. It's obvious to everyone who knows them. Everyday I pass by them and, for the most part, all I hear is how irritated they are with each other. Sure, there'll be good days, but the motif of their life as a duo seems to be suffering the other person's verbal and emotional punches between brief periods of forgiving each other. Personally, I don't know how anyone can live like that day after day. I should know because I've been through that. The simple truth is, yeah, it sucks. It sucks to know that it's never going to get back to where it once was. It sucks to know that it's never going to get any better. It sucks to know that the person you used to care about is the person who's now causing you so much anguish.
The rub of it is is that you can't predict these things. You can't tell by how a couple starts out how it's going to end just like you can't tell a road's destination by its origin. It's impossible. Often times the couples I see who have the most solid foundations upon which to build were the couples that started off rather shakily. On the other hand, the couples I swore I thought were meant for each other are the ones that surprised me at how quickly they flamed out.
On second thought, being turned down by someone you absolutely adore is not the worst feeling in the world. I think there's definitely nothing sadder than seeing love die. It's like what they say about it being better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. It may be true, but I would have to agree that the pain and suffering of a person who is in love with someone who doesn't love him back pales in comparison to the pain, suffering, and torture that is having loved someone once and to know you can never love like that ever again. There is no sadder fate than to know you're never going to make that person happy again.
I've seen plenty of women I've claimed to have loved cry. Sometimes it was my fault. Sometimes it wasn't. It hurt more when it wasn't, especially when I couldn't do a damn thing to fix it. I just had to walk away while they suffered. There are always going to be problems I cannot fix. I know that. There are always going to be twists of fate that I'm not going to be able to untwist or correct. I know that too. But I don't think love, if it's real, should be an unsalvageable derelict. I cannot believe any two people, if they truly do love each other, should have any cause to drift apart. It just shouldn't happen. When you love somebody that should be where the movie ends. The end. There shouldn't be an afterthough about what happens to you after that. There is no after that. You're in love, you win. Love should be the goal in and of itself. It should be like losing your virginity. There shouldn't be a way to lose love. You shouldn't have to maintain it. It should be like riding a bicycle; once you have it, it's yours forever.
You should never have to say, "I love you, but I can't be with you." That phrase shouldn't exist. "I love you," should only be followed by, "I love you, I love you, I love you."
You shouldn't have to preface saying "I'll always love you" with the phrase "no matter what happens." That should be tacit in the stating of it. In fact, you shouldn't have to put "always" in that phrase there either. If anything eternity should be implied in the announcing of your love for that person.
Why can't I just be in love with her like that again?
and you do your best to show me love,
but you don't know what love is
It's just like Sara said long ago...
"I'd almost rather not be in love if it means ending up in tears."
Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers
I had the opportunity to see Walk The Line the other day. I found the task of deciding which has the better love story, that movie or Brokeback Mountain, daunting. The whole time I was watching it I found myself feeling compassion for the guy because, but for the grace of God, that could have been me. While I appreciated the fact that Mr. Cash set his heart on something that most people would have thought too difficult and too heartbreaking to attain and never stopped attempting to attain it, it made me sad to realize that I probably would have given up long before he ever did. I just don't have the stuff for a protracted courtship. If a young lady were to rebuke my ever advance like June Carter did Johnny, I would have moved on to greener pastures. It's just my nature. But, then again, I'm a quitter when it comes to certain things.
About the only thing I think is sadder than a person not getting what he or she wants and being repeatedly told to give up is when a person finds something substantial and then it somehow goes sour entirely because of circumstances out of his or her control. "Letter to Elise" is a perfect example of this. There's nothing wrong with those crazy kids. Time, familiarity, and circumstance are the only bad guys in that situation. It's not because they have a failure to love each other, it's because there are certain relationships that have no room to grow into anything more. It doesn't make what they had any less meaningful. It just means that that relationship can only remain meaningful for so long before it has to stop. It's the realization that relationships like this are an integral part of life that, yeah, kind of makes me sad. I, like everyone else, would like to believe that anybody I get involved with is going to change my life for the better, is going to have a lasting impact that somehow guides my life in the direction it's supposed to go. I don't want to think that the person I start seeing next is only going to last a brief time and possibly end up being worse for me in terms of growth. I don't want to think about how everything that is good and lovely and sweet about this new relationship may eventually sour because that's its fate. As hard as I try I'm sad to think that there will be people in my life whose destiny it is to leave me sad and alone.
I'm writing this because I see a couple everyday whose best years are behind them. It's obvious to everyone who knows them. Everyday I pass by them and, for the most part, all I hear is how irritated they are with each other. Sure, there'll be good days, but the motif of their life as a duo seems to be suffering the other person's verbal and emotional punches between brief periods of forgiving each other. Personally, I don't know how anyone can live like that day after day. I should know because I've been through that. The simple truth is, yeah, it sucks. It sucks to know that it's never going to get back to where it once was. It sucks to know that it's never going to get any better. It sucks to know that the person you used to care about is the person who's now causing you so much anguish.
The rub of it is is that you can't predict these things. You can't tell by how a couple starts out how it's going to end just like you can't tell a road's destination by its origin. It's impossible. Often times the couples I see who have the most solid foundations upon which to build were the couples that started off rather shakily. On the other hand, the couples I swore I thought were meant for each other are the ones that surprised me at how quickly they flamed out.
On second thought, being turned down by someone you absolutely adore is not the worst feeling in the world. I think there's definitely nothing sadder than seeing love die. It's like what they say about it being better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. It may be true, but I would have to agree that the pain and suffering of a person who is in love with someone who doesn't love him back pales in comparison to the pain, suffering, and torture that is having loved someone once and to know you can never love like that ever again. There is no sadder fate than to know you're never going to make that person happy again.
I've seen plenty of women I've claimed to have loved cry. Sometimes it was my fault. Sometimes it wasn't. It hurt more when it wasn't, especially when I couldn't do a damn thing to fix it. I just had to walk away while they suffered. There are always going to be problems I cannot fix. I know that. There are always going to be twists of fate that I'm not going to be able to untwist or correct. I know that too. But I don't think love, if it's real, should be an unsalvageable derelict. I cannot believe any two people, if they truly do love each other, should have any cause to drift apart. It just shouldn't happen. When you love somebody that should be where the movie ends. The end. There shouldn't be an afterthough about what happens to you after that. There is no after that. You're in love, you win. Love should be the goal in and of itself. It should be like losing your virginity. There shouldn't be a way to lose love. You shouldn't have to maintain it. It should be like riding a bicycle; once you have it, it's yours forever.
You should never have to say, "I love you, but I can't be with you." That phrase shouldn't exist. "I love you," should only be followed by, "I love you, I love you, I love you."
You shouldn't have to preface saying "I'll always love you" with the phrase "no matter what happens." That should be tacit in the stating of it. In fact, you shouldn't have to put "always" in that phrase there either. If anything eternity should be implied in the announcing of your love for that person.
Why can't I just be in love with her like that again?
and you do your best to show me love,
but you don't know what love is
It's just like Sara said long ago...
"I'd almost rather not be in love if it means ending up in tears."
Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers
posted by mojo shivers @ 6:22 PM
1 Comments:
At 2:37 AM,
sothirteen said…
There is no sadder fate than to know you're never going to make that person happy again.
O__O That is so true.
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