Oh No, Look What You've Gone And Done, You're Creating Pandemonium, That Song You Sing Means Everything, To Me, I'm Living In Ecstasy

--"Pandemonium", Pet Shop Boys

I was a few shorts steps away from pursuing a career as a film critic. I don't know how many people know that, but my huge choice for universities was between studying creative writing at USC or enrolling into Tisch School Arts as a Film Critique major. I tend to look at that choice as one of those momentous decisions that truly would have set me on a different path for life.

In some sense I've always been a natural critic. I tend to write best when I take something somebody else has started and present my opinion on it. Whether it was writing up book reviews at St. Rita's twenty years ago to not so subtly writing up film reviews here, a part of me always has an itch to share my opinion on matters of taste with as many individuals as possible. I'm not sure if it's vanity or the fear that my opinion will get lost in the shuffle which drives me to compose so many reviews. Possibly, it might be a mix of the two. Whatever it is, there are certain subjects and certain activities where, upon completion, the first thing I think of is composing a review about that particular subject or activity as soon as possible.

One of the biggest areas that falls under this directive is restaurants. I love reviewing restaurants I've never been to before and I especially love reviewing places I've been dying to try out for some time. That's why Yelp! is a natural fit for me. The ability to write and post a short three or four paragraph review of every eatery I patronize minutes after I've completed a meal is still astounding to me. Then, to receive constant feedback on my take of every place I go to is doubly rewarding. It not only makes me feel like my opinion is spot-on, but it also makes me feel like I've assisted dozens, if not hundreds, of people out there in the agonizing dilemma of where to drive for dinner. I don't know--it all comes back to the idea that I'm a born advice-giver because what is a review but merely a piece of advice couched in artistic terms? I'm basically telling you that your life will be better for having gone to these places and that various dishes, drinks, or even desserts will help cure whatever psychological traumas you may be experiencing now.

You can imagine my glee then at the news that my reviews at Yelp! have earned me the honor of being inducted as an Elite '09 member. I feel like all my efforts into steering people away to some of the best places to eat have not been in vain. But, more than that, it kind of validates my opinions as being beyond reproach since I would say 90% of my reviews have been what the general consensus has been. Face it, if my reviews had been entirely contrary to what other people though then nobody would have recognized me as possessing great taste when it comes to food. I have yet to receive a piece of fan mail or a letter of disagreement, stating that my experience at a particular cafe, diner, or restaurant was wildly divergent from someone else's. Nope, for the most part, when people go to a place after I've already been there, they usually say that my assessment is in line with their own perspective.

In some ways I thrive off of this ego boost because it fans the flames of my being a so-called expert at where to eat when you're looking for good food in a certain area that a lot of people don't know about. I like it when I find those locals only spots that somebody driving through would never deign to give a shot to. I like trying those mom and pop places that don't look like much from the outside, but are completely what your stomach is hankering after once you get aside.

That's what being a part of the Elite '09 squad provides me.

But it's more than that, it gives me another voice with which to connect to the world at large. Long after I'm gone, nostalgic as it may sound, people are going to know a huge deal about me by the reviews I leave behind me. Just like I have plans for this blog to be a sort of time capsule of the three of us, I'm hoping a hundred years from now when somebody is stumbling around archives from the turn of the century they'll discover my reviews. They'll sit down and find out a little about me by finding out what I liked once upon a time.

That's a voice that never dies, that's a form of immortality, and that's why I have this need to review everything.

Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers