Watched By Empty Silhouettes, Who Close Their Eyes, But Still Can See, No One Taught Them Etiquette, I Will Show Another Me
--"Solsbury Hill", Peter Gabriel
When I was in fourth grade I made a conscious decision to be weird.
I didn't exactly have a firm definition of what weird meant, but, due to the fact that that was a label which seemed to follow me around from grade to grade, I decided to go with it. I lacked the mental acuity then to put it into terms which I could understand, but I think I've reached a point where I can at last take a stab at it. When I say I'm weird I don't mean to say that I choose my action to intentionally creep people out or piss them off or to do a half dozen other things. I think my "weirdness" stems from that basic human desire to differentiate myself from everyone else. No one wants to be a carbon copy of everyone else and I am no different. However, whereas most people find small ways to assert their uniqueness, I am prone to grand gestures and acts. I think this personality choice comes into play on more than just average run-of-the-mill decisions; I think it comes into play into the bigger moral decisions as well. Oft times I and other people have noticed that I don't weigh my options between right and wrong as much as what everyone else would do and what everyone else wouldn't do. For instance, when I used to walk home from school I often chose routes that had nothing to do with being the fastest or the most scenic, or even what would get me close to stores where I could browse. Most times I chose routes that I had never taken before which often meant taking the most roundabout route imaginable.
To be fair, I think a little piece of this choice may have to do with getting a reaction. It is rather funny to me to see people's face glaze over in perplexity when I spout a non-sequitir or relay a story of something that I did that no one else would ever do. I think I'm easily amused by how easy it is to throw off somebody's sense of balance by going against the grain. I think that's how the twin waterfalls story and the dinosaur vegetable story got their starts. I think it's also part and parcel of having reputation that you start acting like you have to live up to it. In the beginning it may have been a sore spot not fitting in, what with the pressures of growing up and being in school, but, the more I've grown, the more I've realized that one's identity is something to be flaunted and not flagged.
This brings me to the big reveal that prompted this whole post. Possibly the weirdest thing I do is that I have a habit that even I cannot explain. It all started about the time I began dating DeAnn. Around that time I chanced upon a new concoction at the confectionary stand by the name of Peanut Butter Twix. From the moment I put chocolate to lips I was enamored with them. I couldn't buy enough of them. That in itself would be weird, but it's the supplementary quirk that really draws attention.
I can't see myself ever throwing a wrapper away.
It started out as my attempt at tallying just how many bars I eat in a month. I used to place them all in a drawer in my apartment and amaze myself (and others) at the quantity of bars consumed in a given period. But soon it mutated into another beast altogether. I then began hiding the wrappers around the house just to get a reaction out of her. Soon DeAnn was finding wrappers in the strangest places. Dishwashers, coffee cans, and pillow cases were all fair game. I freely confess I was just trying to be cute and playful when I initiated this habit. However, when it migrated to my other friends' and family members' houses I knew it was almost bordering on an obsession. To me the fun comes in sneaking them into the most unlikely of places and seeing the reaction when someone I know comes across them.
I think it's the fact that no one "gets" why I do it that I persist. It'd be different if it caught on like some phase and all the neighborhood kids started doing it, but because, to the best of my knowledge, I am the sole individual on the planet to do it, I continue. Again, this is a choice that transcends right or wrong, but instead hinges on what would Patrick do and what would everyone else do?
i'll tell them what the smile on my face meant
Yes, I'm weird. But the way I look at it is that I'm normal, it's the whole world that's weird.
Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers
When I was in fourth grade I made a conscious decision to be weird.I didn't exactly have a firm definition of what weird meant, but, due to the fact that that was a label which seemed to follow me around from grade to grade, I decided to go with it. I lacked the mental acuity then to put it into terms which I could understand, but I think I've reached a point where I can at last take a stab at it. When I say I'm weird I don't mean to say that I choose my action to intentionally creep people out or piss them off or to do a half dozen other things. I think my "weirdness" stems from that basic human desire to differentiate myself from everyone else. No one wants to be a carbon copy of everyone else and I am no different. However, whereas most people find small ways to assert their uniqueness, I am prone to grand gestures and acts. I think this personality choice comes into play on more than just average run-of-the-mill decisions; I think it comes into play into the bigger moral decisions as well. Oft times I and other people have noticed that I don't weigh my options between right and wrong as much as what everyone else would do and what everyone else wouldn't do. For instance, when I used to walk home from school I often chose routes that had nothing to do with being the fastest or the most scenic, or even what would get me close to stores where I could browse. Most times I chose routes that I had never taken before which often meant taking the most roundabout route imaginable.
To be fair, I think a little piece of this choice may have to do with getting a reaction. It is rather funny to me to see people's face glaze over in perplexity when I spout a non-sequitir or relay a story of something that I did that no one else would ever do. I think I'm easily amused by how easy it is to throw off somebody's sense of balance by going against the grain. I think that's how the twin waterfalls story and the dinosaur vegetable story got their starts. I think it's also part and parcel of having reputation that you start acting like you have to live up to it. In the beginning it may have been a sore spot not fitting in, what with the pressures of growing up and being in school, but, the more I've grown, the more I've realized that one's identity is something to be flaunted and not flagged.
This brings me to the big reveal that prompted this whole post. Possibly the weirdest thing I do is that I have a habit that even I cannot explain. It all started about the time I began dating DeAnn. Around that time I chanced upon a new concoction at the confectionary stand by the name of Peanut Butter Twix. From the moment I put chocolate to lips I was enamored with them. I couldn't buy enough of them. That in itself would be weird, but it's the supplementary quirk that really draws attention.
I can't see myself ever throwing a wrapper away.
It started out as my attempt at tallying just how many bars I eat in a month. I used to place them all in a drawer in my apartment and amaze myself (and others) at the quantity of bars consumed in a given period. But soon it mutated into another beast altogether. I then began hiding the wrappers around the house just to get a reaction out of her. Soon DeAnn was finding wrappers in the strangest places. Dishwashers, coffee cans, and pillow cases were all fair game. I freely confess I was just trying to be cute and playful when I initiated this habit. However, when it migrated to my other friends' and family members' houses I knew it was almost bordering on an obsession. To me the fun comes in sneaking them into the most unlikely of places and seeing the reaction when someone I know comes across them.
I think it's the fact that no one "gets" why I do it that I persist. It'd be different if it caught on like some phase and all the neighborhood kids started doing it, but because, to the best of my knowledge, I am the sole individual on the planet to do it, I continue. Again, this is a choice that transcends right or wrong, but instead hinges on what would Patrick do and what would everyone else do?
i'll tell them what the smile on my face meant
Yes, I'm weird. But the way I look at it is that I'm normal, it's the whole world that's weird.
Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers
posted by mojo shivers @ 12:22 AM
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