And When I See You, Take The Same Sweet Steps, You Used To Take, I Know I'll Keep On Holding You, In Arms So Tight, They'll Never, Never Let You Go

--"High", The Cure

I've been wrestling with the idea of putting an escalator into my house whenever I get around to buying it for the sole reason I've never seen an escalator in a person's home before. Frankly, I think it's way more practical than my former idea of a spinning house, which gives me all the more impetus to attempt it. It would be kind of fun and funny to walk through the front door and step onto my escalator to head up the bedrooms and upstairs bathroom, or what have you. Plus, think of the conversation piece it could be. "Mojo, I've never seen an escalator inside of a home before. What made you decide to install one of those?" "Oh, that old thing. It came with the house. To tell you the truth, it's terribly inconvenient. But what can you do? It's part of the gal's charm, wouldn't you know."

I know what you're saying. How does a person get down if the only means to the second floor is a upward escalator? Short of reversing the direction every time I mean to use it, I could literally be stuck without a way down. I mean--I suppose I could try to run down the stairs every time I need to go into the kitchen, but that would be rather tiresome and time-consuming as well.

Well, that's where the second part of my plan comes in.

Fireman poles.

That's exactly what the house would need should the escalators become a reality. A swift slide down and I could be transported straight into the kitchen. I think that's the only solution that makes sense. Plus, again, it would be a conversation piece when my guests are mulling about the kitchen area. "Why is there a pole running perpendicular to the ground here, Mojo?" "Oh, that old thing? It came with the house. Apparently, the previous owners liked to think of themselves as amateur superheroes. You can imagine the rest."


as high as i might
i can't get that high

I have no clue why I keep on imagining these eccentric additions to my dream house. The only explanation I can give is that I abhor conventionality and praise originality. I don't want my house to be the same cookie-cutter floor plan that everybody else. I don't ever want someone to think of me as someone who does things normally. I always have to put my little spin onto things. If I can't do that literally with a spinning house, than I shall have to devise another way to show everybody that my house is unique, that my house is special. Brandy says that's why I do a lot of things to call attention to myself, because I equate weird and unconventional with being unique. And I equate being unique with being regarded as special. I don't like the feeling of being overlooked or forgotten. I like the feeling of being remembered and being distinguished from everyone else.

It's just like my escalator.

Why take the time to climb stairs with everyone else, when you can rise to the top right away?

Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers