So Far, I Still Know Who You Are, But Now I Wonder Who I Was, Angel, You Know It's Not The End, We'll Always Be Good Friends
--"Perfect", Smashing Pumpkins
There's a certain sense of dread to the onset of this college football season. It's not because USC isn't on top (because they still are) and it isn't because I've suddenly grown disinterested in the whole collegiate sports hobby (because I haven't). The reason why there's a certain trepidation at witnessing how this season plays out isn't for either of those reasons. The reason is this: I don't want to loss a thousand dollars at the end of the season. I don't want to part with it. I don't even want to consider how inconvenient such a result would be. I just can't deal with it right now.
I know what you're thinking, who would be game enough to take such an enormous bet. Did I lay down a wager like I do for the Red Sox at Vegas at some Sports Book? Nope. Did I happen to make another callous bet with that crazy assistant manager of the Sales Department at work? Nope. No, the person I have the long-standing bet with it is probably the one person in the whole county that you don't ever want to compete with in something she's confident she can win. Not only does she get cocky, but she gets downright mean when it comes to the nature of the competition. She gloats, she whines, she carries on like a four-year-old sometimes. God help me if I lose this bet. God help us all. Because if she wins, they'll be no end to the taunts, the jabs, the jeers, &c... all at my expense. My life of enjoying a simple college football game will cease to exist. It will be instead be haunted by the knowledge that got one over on me and I couldn't do anything to stop her.
I am, of course, talking about Breanne, otherwise known as Miss Georgia Bulldog herself.
I've mentioned before how we have a long-standing tradition of betting one hundred dollars any time one of her teams plays one of my teams. I also mentioned how this escalated from a friendly wager of twenty dollars when we were much younger and relatively poorer. Well, around the beginning of the 2006 football season, after a very confident discussion about how my USC Trojans couldn't be beaten that year, she and I got to arguing over the merits of our respective alma maters. I glorified Southern Cal and she basically placed a halo around good 'ole UGA. Especially when it came to college football, we were excellently matched in demonstrating our school pride. That's when I had the bright idea to wager on the next time University of Georgia would win the National Championship in Football. I mean--hey, they hadn't won since 1980, I figured it was a safe topic of discussion. Little did I know that she was setting me up to pay, and pay big. After much back-and-forth "conferring" on the nature and terms of the wager (I believe at one point she even went to her computer and played "Glory, Glory" repeatedly), the stipulations were spilled out like this:
Five years at 5 to 1 odds, and I thought I was getting the better end of the wager. I figured, as good as their team may be, it's almost impossible to imagine that they manage to finish on top in such a short time span. I figured I had an easy two hundred coming my way in five years.
However, now with the advent of Georgia starting the season ranked number one in the polls and having seen them play so dominantly in their first two games, I'm starting to get worried that she might not need the extra two seasons to win this bet. I'm starting to get worried that I chose wrongly and that she had some inkling of foresight that allowed her see into the future that Georgia could be this good. I'm starting to get worried that a thousand dollars might be soon winging its way to Macon.
I'm not worried that it's going to destroy our friendship (because it won't). I'm not worried that this bet is somehow going to make me uncontrollably annoyed with her (because that's a foregone conclusion). What I'm worried about is how this will affect her perception of me. I'm not exactly a gracious loser sometimes. Even when I can get the words out, my tone of voice and my general demeanor betray my sense of dissatisfaction with the outcome. I hate to lose. I hate to lose money. Worst of all, I hate losing money to her. This will be the biggest amount I've ever had to owe her because of a bet and I'm just paranoid this will upset the equilibrium between us somehow. She'll somehow think less of me because she won the "big bet" in much the same way I'd think less of her if I happen to make it to 2011 as the big winner.
Something like this could be an irrevocable change in the status quo in much the same fashion as one of us getting married was, or as someone getting really sick will be. Yes, it's a stupid sports bet, but if I don't hold a grudge (irrational and small as it may well be) I know she's going to have yet another chip on her shoulder because of it. That's the nature of this never-ending game between us. One of us has a victory (moral or otherwise) at the expense of the other person's defeat. It happened when I worked up the courage to first kiss her (point to me), when she opened up her own successful business (point to her), and when the whole debacle with her getting married (point to her) and my not showing up (a very bad point to me). We don't mean to do it. We don't even try to do it. But we're both so stubborn in our own little ways that every time we have the chance to outdo the other person, we take it. We take it and run with it. It's like the younger sister who is constantly trying to outdo the older brother mentality; it doesn't matter that we're not related. There's always a sense of friendly rivalry that permeates how we relate to each other.
However, I've noticed the older we've gotten, the more it doesn't feel as fun any more. There's a sense of real vindictiveness there that it's often difficult to tell where the competitor ends and the friend begins. There's an air of no-holds-barred any more that wasn't there when we used to play around with the kid gloves on when it came to betting. Maybe it's the amount of money being tossed around or maybe it's the seriousness with which we approach the tete-a-tete. The tension feels more pronounced now. It feels more personal. It really feels sometimes like it's me vs. her.
Which is crazy.
Before anything else we are friends. Before I ever start thinking of seeing her as my rival, I see her as the person I trust the most in the world. And no amount of money can shift that point-of-view, right? After all, sure, I might her a thousand dollars at the end of this college season and parting with that amount of money might sting in the short-term, but I have to remember that there are more important transactions have transpired between us.
For instance, it wasn't so long ago that I was down on my luck, bankrupt and alone, when a certain dimple-faced angel agreed to loan me three thousand dollars so I could get by. I didn't ask her. I didn't even accept her first offer (more like her fourth), but in the end she shilled out that three thousand because it felt right to her. It felt like the natural thing to do for a friend, for her best friend. There wasn't a sense of one-upmanship then. She didn't lord it over me in that situation. Where that gift came from wasn't from a sense of charity or proving that she was better than me by being able to loan me out the money. That gift came from the heart, from the other axiom that's always been true about the two of us. Sure, we might bicker and try to outdo each other from time-to-time. But when you get to the crux of the relationship between the two of us, we've always felt like it was us vs. the world before we ever see it us me vs. her.
So, yeah, in the end there might be some shifting of power between us if she wins the bet. Yeah, I'll be very sore at her if she takes my money. But when all is said and done, one thousand dollars isn't that steep of a price to pay for the fifteen years of comfort and support she's provided me without ever asking for a dime.
(USC still will kick ass over Georgia this year, though...LOL)
Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers
There's a certain sense of dread to the onset of this college football season. It's not because USC isn't on top (because they still are) and it isn't because I've suddenly grown disinterested in the whole collegiate sports hobby (because I haven't). The reason why there's a certain trepidation at witnessing how this season plays out isn't for either of those reasons. The reason is this: I don't want to loss a thousand dollars at the end of the season. I don't want to part with it. I don't even want to consider how inconvenient such a result would be. I just can't deal with it right now. I know what you're thinking, who would be game enough to take such an enormous bet. Did I lay down a wager like I do for the Red Sox at Vegas at some Sports Book? Nope. Did I happen to make another callous bet with that crazy assistant manager of the Sales Department at work? Nope. No, the person I have the long-standing bet with it is probably the one person in the whole county that you don't ever want to compete with in something she's confident she can win. Not only does she get cocky, but she gets downright mean when it comes to the nature of the competition. She gloats, she whines, she carries on like a four-year-old sometimes. God help me if I lose this bet. God help us all. Because if she wins, they'll be no end to the taunts, the jabs, the jeers, &c... all at my expense. My life of enjoying a simple college football game will cease to exist. It will be instead be haunted by the knowledge that got one over on me and I couldn't do anything to stop her.
I am, of course, talking about Breanne, otherwise known as Miss Georgia Bulldog herself.
I've mentioned before how we have a long-standing tradition of betting one hundred dollars any time one of her teams plays one of my teams. I also mentioned how this escalated from a friendly wager of twenty dollars when we were much younger and relatively poorer. Well, around the beginning of the 2006 football season, after a very confident discussion about how my USC Trojans couldn't be beaten that year, she and I got to arguing over the merits of our respective alma maters. I glorified Southern Cal and she basically placed a halo around good 'ole UGA. Especially when it came to college football, we were excellently matched in demonstrating our school pride. That's when I had the bright idea to wager on the next time University of Georgia would win the National Championship in Football. I mean--hey, they hadn't won since 1980, I figured it was a safe topic of discussion. Little did I know that she was setting me up to pay, and pay big. After much back-and-forth "conferring" on the nature and terms of the wager (I believe at one point she even went to her computer and played "Glory, Glory" repeatedly), the stipulations were spilled out like this:
If Georgia wins the National Title by the end of the 2010 season (BCS Championship in 2011) I will owe her a thousand dollars. However, if Georgia doesn't win the National Title by the end of that season, she will owe me two hundred dollars.
Five years at 5 to 1 odds, and I thought I was getting the better end of the wager. I figured, as good as their team may be, it's almost impossible to imagine that they manage to finish on top in such a short time span. I figured I had an easy two hundred coming my way in five years.
However, now with the advent of Georgia starting the season ranked number one in the polls and having seen them play so dominantly in their first two games, I'm starting to get worried that she might not need the extra two seasons to win this bet. I'm starting to get worried that I chose wrongly and that she had some inkling of foresight that allowed her see into the future that Georgia could be this good. I'm starting to get worried that a thousand dollars might be soon winging its way to Macon.
I'm not worried that it's going to destroy our friendship (because it won't). I'm not worried that this bet is somehow going to make me uncontrollably annoyed with her (because that's a foregone conclusion). What I'm worried about is how this will affect her perception of me. I'm not exactly a gracious loser sometimes. Even when I can get the words out, my tone of voice and my general demeanor betray my sense of dissatisfaction with the outcome. I hate to lose. I hate to lose money. Worst of all, I hate losing money to her. This will be the biggest amount I've ever had to owe her because of a bet and I'm just paranoid this will upset the equilibrium between us somehow. She'll somehow think less of me because she won the "big bet" in much the same way I'd think less of her if I happen to make it to 2011 as the big winner.
Something like this could be an irrevocable change in the status quo in much the same fashion as one of us getting married was, or as someone getting really sick will be. Yes, it's a stupid sports bet, but if I don't hold a grudge (irrational and small as it may well be) I know she's going to have yet another chip on her shoulder because of it. That's the nature of this never-ending game between us. One of us has a victory (moral or otherwise) at the expense of the other person's defeat. It happened when I worked up the courage to first kiss her (point to me), when she opened up her own successful business (point to her), and when the whole debacle with her getting married (point to her) and my not showing up (a very bad point to me). We don't mean to do it. We don't even try to do it. But we're both so stubborn in our own little ways that every time we have the chance to outdo the other person, we take it. We take it and run with it. It's like the younger sister who is constantly trying to outdo the older brother mentality; it doesn't matter that we're not related. There's always a sense of friendly rivalry that permeates how we relate to each other.
However, I've noticed the older we've gotten, the more it doesn't feel as fun any more. There's a sense of real vindictiveness there that it's often difficult to tell where the competitor ends and the friend begins. There's an air of no-holds-barred any more that wasn't there when we used to play around with the kid gloves on when it came to betting. Maybe it's the amount of money being tossed around or maybe it's the seriousness with which we approach the tete-a-tete. The tension feels more pronounced now. It feels more personal. It really feels sometimes like it's me vs. her.
Which is crazy.
Before anything else we are friends. Before I ever start thinking of seeing her as my rival, I see her as the person I trust the most in the world. And no amount of money can shift that point-of-view, right? After all, sure, I might her a thousand dollars at the end of this college season and parting with that amount of money might sting in the short-term, but I have to remember that there are more important transactions have transpired between us.
For instance, it wasn't so long ago that I was down on my luck, bankrupt and alone, when a certain dimple-faced angel agreed to loan me three thousand dollars so I could get by. I didn't ask her. I didn't even accept her first offer (more like her fourth), but in the end she shilled out that three thousand because it felt right to her. It felt like the natural thing to do for a friend, for her best friend. There wasn't a sense of one-upmanship then. She didn't lord it over me in that situation. Where that gift came from wasn't from a sense of charity or proving that she was better than me by being able to loan me out the money. That gift came from the heart, from the other axiom that's always been true about the two of us. Sure, we might bicker and try to outdo each other from time-to-time. But when you get to the crux of the relationship between the two of us, we've always felt like it was us vs. the world before we ever see it us me vs. her.
So, yeah, in the end there might be some shifting of power between us if she wins the bet. Yeah, I'll be very sore at her if she takes my money. But when all is said and done, one thousand dollars isn't that steep of a price to pay for the fifteen years of comfort and support she's provided me without ever asking for a dime.
(USC still will kick ass over Georgia this year, though...LOL)
Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers
Labels: Breanne, College Football, competition, Evolution of Friendships, rivalry, Smashing Pumpkings
posted by mojo shivers @ 11:42 PM
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