So Now I Come To You, With Open Arms, Nothing To Hide, Believe What I Say, So Here I Am With Open Arms

--"Open Arms", Journey

When she was alive, Jennifer and I used to talk about the merits of forthrightness. Her big kick was always that I should tell the people that mattered to me as often as possible how much I appreciated. My counterpoint was always that if you constantly tell somebody the same thing repeatedly, what you say begins to lose all meaning. I was always of the mindset that you should save up how you feel for those moments when it really matters, when it's really going to make a difference. I was always of the opinion that you needed to write those long letters spelling out everything that you love about a person because just spewing a generic bland statement of how you feel really doesn't cut it. Saying, "I love you," isn't the same as hearing a couple dozen reasons why you feel as such.

Or so I thought.

As I've gotten older I've realized that both schools of thought have their place. I've also realized that you can hide behind words as easily as you can put your true self forward with those same words. I've always been somebody who preferred to write at length about everything. Through high school, through college, my teachers tried to instill in me the value of keeping it simple, being direct and to the point. I would never listen. I would always compose at length because I thought it put more of who I was and what I was about there. Now I realize part of me sees lengthy compositions and a verbose manner of speaking are just crutches I use when I don't want people to see how I really feel. While I do say how I feel, I kind of use language and grammar to obfuscate the point. I'm hoping people don't have the time or the patience to wade through all my verbage to get at the real meat of what I'm saying. And, for the most part, it's worked. For everything I write, I think there's only a few people who truly go the distance to parce out the meat from the gristle, to borrow the expression.

However, there have been some times when I saw the value of just putting my heart out there and getting right to the point. There have been times where I just wanted someone to know immediately the depth of my appreciation for them in no uncertain terms. It doesn't happen often and it really leaves me more vulnerable than I usually like to be, but it does happen:

TO MY DEAREST FRIEND
by E. Patrick Taroc

To ask what friends like you are for
Is to doubt the joy life does bring,
To let one's fear become the door
That shuts out their light like evening.
So into your worth my heart I pour
And not to your meaning do I cling
For you're the friend that means so much more,
Is so much more than everything.

(07/20/95) Copyright 1995 E. Patrick Taroc

Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers