Drinking has never really appealed to me, I guess. Drinking socially, slowly increasing your blood alcohol level, seems especially weird. Probably that's because I'm used to being hyper in social situations. Maybe. But I find very attractive somehow the idea of drinking in the morning, drinking all day, starting right along with pre-breakfast coffee. I think that is romantic and beautifully decadent. It makes me think of riding bicycles slowly and tortuously without a helmet, of picnics and Leonard Bernstein conducting with a cigarette. Ha none of this reflects my personal habits, but somehow my actual habits and my perceived tastes have grown vastly riven.

Anyway I'm turning twenty-one very soon. Van's album is coming out two weeks from yesterday so I can hope for that as a present, what else I'm not sure. I'm more thinking what shall I do to mark the occasion. Something with my family I guess. Maybe a satellite occasion where the discourse is freer (i.e. Sapporo on George Street to ogle the Tomoko Kawase-resembling server there).

~ Cafe Lumiere (my new favorite movie) DVD came the other day and I just rewatched the ending. It's a lot more detailed than I remembered. My paper was correct in spirit and incisive enough but could have said some more important things more concretely. Frankly it's a paper I wasn't ready to write--I was confusing the task of six pages with the ambition of forty.

I should have looked more and talked less because the totally linear, if slightly recondite, argument I was trying to make is actually spelled out in the film. The third-to-last shot in which Yoko meanders out of frame finds the camera in the same position as Yoko is in the the second-to-last: basically she's moved around/behind where it was, or displaced it, so it was where she is, and it is where she will be: Wo Es war, soll Ich werden. (Where id was, there ego shall be).

Alternatively the person (well, subject) starts to appear when the object reappears--which is to say after it has disappeared, or 'become implicit.' Gross oversimplification of my own armchair theorizing... Oh well, still Spring Break.