For Your Eyes Only, Only For You, You See What No One Else Can See, And No One Breaking Free, For Your Eyes Only, Only For You
"For Your Eyes Only", Sheena Easton
My rule for writing stories is that I've always adhered to telling what actually happened even if what actually happened isn't exactly the most comfortable and pleasant story to tell. It doesn't matter if it's a fictional story or if it's a story ripped from my own life; if the opportunity presents itself to dress up the story by altering the underlying truth, I immediately get paranoid that I'm delving into the realm of meglomania. I am not speaking of changing lines or events because my faulty short-term memory has left me unable to reconstruct them as they once happpened. Nor am I discussing talking about re-writing a short story or novella because on the first go-around I neglected chances to place the drama where it should have been. I am merely speaking of remembering and getting an idea, then replacing it with something else for fear that I'll be misunderstood or the idea will be misconstrued. I'm not a big fan of re-writes where wholesale plot changes are enacted or editing of any kind which involves the removal of scenes deemed too personal, too incendiary, or too taboo to speak of. I tend to write from the gut and often times everything you read here is the first and only draft (which you'll notice from the several grammar and spelling mistakes).
With that manifesto in mind, you can understand my conundrum when I say I'm suffering from a bit of shyness when it comes to writing my screenplay. It's not that it's about me. Providence knows my favorite subject matter is me. It's not the subject matter. My favorite story from my history has always been my meeting Breanne and that first meeting in person was, as Barney would say, legendary. And it's not that I'm afraid of stepping on toes or saying something that I shouldn't have. I've gotten okays from all the principals involved--her parents, her friends, her family, and, of course, from my co-star. What I seem to be growing timid at is that I'm starting to feel that the subject matter falls far from being what anyone else would be interested in.
It's a simple story. It doesn't have huge dramatic turns except for the fact of her running away and subsequent search for her. It doesn't have a huge knockdown drag-out fight or anybody dying. What I think it has is a lot of inter-personal and familial drama. What I think it possesses is a lot of small moments that I think could be told to great effect and really touch people. I mean--I know it's touched me to live through it and I think anyone else, when really matched up against their life, could see a bit of themselves in my story. I just don't know how much people are going to be interested in hearing something that doesn't have that big concept going for it.
It's one thing to spill my guts here, where I'm pretty safe to not be recognized or called on for things I've done or said. But if I write this screenplay out, even if it never gets made into an actual film, the story itself will become alive for me. The names may be changed and the dates may be changed, but, to the best of my ability, I am going to be writing this as close to the bone as I possibly can. That means that, for better or for worse, it's not going to be some guy named Elliot (or whatever I fucking decide to name that guy) on the screen; it's going to be me. It's not going to be some story about two people who slowly discover that all relationships do not work out despite how much we want them to; it's going to be my story about how the one relationship I wanted to work out just couldn't. More than that, for me, it's not going to be reading or watching some story about some resplendent girl named Cadence; it's always going to be a story about my Breannie. Always.
I just don't know if I want the whole world to know everything about everything. For the most part here I can break it up into small bits and pieces. I can post a piece about how funny we are together one day and how much she infuriates me the next. I can break it up with the stories that have nothing to do with her. The same goes for her. Here, she doesn't have to waste space talking about what an idiot I am sometimes or what she remembers of me from five years ago. That's here. Up there on the screen or there on the page, it'll be a different story. It's sickening to think that I could ever write an entire two-hour movie where most of the action focuses on us two. The truth is I could fill volumes about the two of us, what I think about the two of us.
The only question is I don't know how well the transition will go to opening up the front doors for so much of that part of my life to be shown. It isn't just the terribly romantic crap I espoused with her; it's all the negligible small talk I engaged in with her family. It's the nervousness of being in a new place. It's the rush of it all that I can tell you know is going to make me queasy seeing on-screen. This is literally going to be the one piece that stays true to what kind of person I am and I don't know if the world at large is quite ready to see that much of me.
And I don't know if I'm ready to show the world that huge chunk of me when so much of me thinks that I'll be treated differently because of it.
But I have to hew my convictions. I like this story and that's got to be good enough for me to proceed with what may be my craziest endeavor yet.
Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers
My rule for writing stories is that I've always adhered to telling what actually happened even if what actually happened isn't exactly the most comfortable and pleasant story to tell. It doesn't matter if it's a fictional story or if it's a story ripped from my own life; if the opportunity presents itself to dress up the story by altering the underlying truth, I immediately get paranoid that I'm delving into the realm of meglomania. I am not speaking of changing lines or events because my faulty short-term memory has left me unable to reconstruct them as they once happpened. Nor am I discussing talking about re-writing a short story or novella because on the first go-around I neglected chances to place the drama where it should have been. I am merely speaking of remembering and getting an idea, then replacing it with something else for fear that I'll be misunderstood or the idea will be misconstrued. I'm not a big fan of re-writes where wholesale plot changes are enacted or editing of any kind which involves the removal of scenes deemed too personal, too incendiary, or too taboo to speak of. I tend to write from the gut and often times everything you read here is the first and only draft (which you'll notice from the several grammar and spelling mistakes).With that manifesto in mind, you can understand my conundrum when I say I'm suffering from a bit of shyness when it comes to writing my screenplay. It's not that it's about me. Providence knows my favorite subject matter is me. It's not the subject matter. My favorite story from my history has always been my meeting Breanne and that first meeting in person was, as Barney would say, legendary. And it's not that I'm afraid of stepping on toes or saying something that I shouldn't have. I've gotten okays from all the principals involved--her parents, her friends, her family, and, of course, from my co-star. What I seem to be growing timid at is that I'm starting to feel that the subject matter falls far from being what anyone else would be interested in.
It's a simple story. It doesn't have huge dramatic turns except for the fact of her running away and subsequent search for her. It doesn't have a huge knockdown drag-out fight or anybody dying. What I think it has is a lot of inter-personal and familial drama. What I think it possesses is a lot of small moments that I think could be told to great effect and really touch people. I mean--I know it's touched me to live through it and I think anyone else, when really matched up against their life, could see a bit of themselves in my story. I just don't know how much people are going to be interested in hearing something that doesn't have that big concept going for it.
It's one thing to spill my guts here, where I'm pretty safe to not be recognized or called on for things I've done or said. But if I write this screenplay out, even if it never gets made into an actual film, the story itself will become alive for me. The names may be changed and the dates may be changed, but, to the best of my ability, I am going to be writing this as close to the bone as I possibly can. That means that, for better or for worse, it's not going to be some guy named Elliot (or whatever I fucking decide to name that guy) on the screen; it's going to be me. It's not going to be some story about two people who slowly discover that all relationships do not work out despite how much we want them to; it's going to be my story about how the one relationship I wanted to work out just couldn't. More than that, for me, it's not going to be reading or watching some story about some resplendent girl named Cadence; it's always going to be a story about my Breannie. Always.
I just don't know if I want the whole world to know everything about everything. For the most part here I can break it up into small bits and pieces. I can post a piece about how funny we are together one day and how much she infuriates me the next. I can break it up with the stories that have nothing to do with her. The same goes for her. Here, she doesn't have to waste space talking about what an idiot I am sometimes or what she remembers of me from five years ago. That's here. Up there on the screen or there on the page, it'll be a different story. It's sickening to think that I could ever write an entire two-hour movie where most of the action focuses on us two. The truth is I could fill volumes about the two of us, what I think about the two of us.
The only question is I don't know how well the transition will go to opening up the front doors for so much of that part of my life to be shown. It isn't just the terribly romantic crap I espoused with her; it's all the negligible small talk I engaged in with her family. It's the nervousness of being in a new place. It's the rush of it all that I can tell you know is going to make me queasy seeing on-screen. This is literally going to be the one piece that stays true to what kind of person I am and I don't know if the world at large is quite ready to see that much of me.
And I don't know if I'm ready to show the world that huge chunk of me when so much of me thinks that I'll be treated differently because of it.
But I have to hew my convictions. I like this story and that's got to be good enough for me to proceed with what may be my craziest endeavor yet.
Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers
posted by mojo shivers @ 12:44 AM
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