And Just So You Know, The Shameless Lengths I'll Go, My Motives Start Core Changes, I Try Lyrical Tact To Boot, Of Unrequited Lust
--"Small Town Crew", The Brunettes
I was watching Cold Case the other night and was presented with a face that seemed familiar. I've always been really good at remembering seeing a particular person before, even if the last thing I saw them was years before. However, the name of this actress for almost the entire episode. Normally I wouldn't resort to looking her up on the internet, but it was driving me crazy that I couldn't recall where I saw her before. That's when I found out that "Jenny" as she as called on Cold Case was good 'ole Hannah from one of my favorite shows Everwood.
What threw me was the dichotomy between mousy brown Hannah and the done-up Jenny. Not only was she more confident and stunning as Jenny, but there was a purpose to her life that wasn't there as Hannah. I know it's acting. I know that's what they get paid to do, but it's about as close to a one-hundred-eighty degree personality change as you can get.
I was talking over this with Epcot yesterday and it hit me that's the way some people are in real life. You lose touch with them. You stop talking to them for a couple of months or a couple of years so when they come back into your life all you notice is how different they seem. They look like the same person, but it's almost as if they're playing a different role. At least for me, you want to treat them the same as you used to treat them because you only have the one manner in which you dealt with them. Yet, the more you speak to them and the more you get to know the "new" them, the more you realize that you can't. The person they've become no longer responds to the same stimuli. They might not even be aware of the change themselves. To them you seem like the same old friend they knew and they may even think that everything is the same as it ever was. When you talk to them, though, everything screams that this is not the same person you knew.
A part of me knows it's always been true. Maybe it's like Shakespeare said, that we each play many roles. We can look much the same as we did a few years back, perhaps a little rougher around the ages, perhaps we've gained or lost a few pounds, but much the same. The trouble starts when we don't allow for growth to happen. Whether it's parents still clinging to their baby girl or friends hanging on tightly to days gone by, it's this idea of seeing one role for one person that bites us in the end. I know I've been guilty of it. I have a lot of friends that I only know in a certain capacity. It doesn't matter if I've seen them last week or last decade; I always pick out the best memory of them, how we got along best, and that's how I continue to see them. Granted, it's not as bad as seeing Hannah where there's only Jenny. It as bad as telling someone you liked them better ten years ago. I've done that way too often and when I haven't gone so far as that, I've thought it.
It's my hang-up and not anyone else's. Most people can recognize and roll with the punches when it comes to people. Me? I've never been good at patience. I've never been good at adjusting. I learn one way to deal with someone and I deal with them like that until something catastrophic happens to change that. Barring that, I change nothing.
It still bothers me that people change so much on the inside when they change so little on the outside. It confuses me. It'd be easier if there was a better correlation between the two, if every epoch in that person's life was marked with a cosmetic change. Because some people, I see them and it's like 1995 again and all I know how to do is treat them the way I did in 1995. Because some people, I talk to them and it's like I'm talking to them for the first time. Because some people, I got to trust them when they were younger and lost that trust in them when they got older.
Going back in my head is far easier than moving forward with my heart.
I don't know this Jenny. Hannah is always going to be Hannah to me.
Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers
I was watching Cold Case the other night and was presented with a face that seemed familiar. I've always been really good at remembering seeing a particular person before, even if the last thing I saw them was years before. However, the name of this actress for almost the entire episode. Normally I wouldn't resort to looking her up on the internet, but it was driving me crazy that I couldn't recall where I saw her before. That's when I found out that "Jenny" as she as called on Cold Case was good 'ole Hannah from one of my favorite shows Everwood.What threw me was the dichotomy between mousy brown Hannah and the done-up Jenny. Not only was she more confident and stunning as Jenny, but there was a purpose to her life that wasn't there as Hannah. I know it's acting. I know that's what they get paid to do, but it's about as close to a one-hundred-eighty degree personality change as you can get.
I was talking over this with Epcot yesterday and it hit me that's the way some people are in real life. You lose touch with them. You stop talking to them for a couple of months or a couple of years so when they come back into your life all you notice is how different they seem. They look like the same person, but it's almost as if they're playing a different role. At least for me, you want to treat them the same as you used to treat them because you only have the one manner in which you dealt with them. Yet, the more you speak to them and the more you get to know the "new" them, the more you realize that you can't. The person they've become no longer responds to the same stimuli. They might not even be aware of the change themselves. To them you seem like the same old friend they knew and they may even think that everything is the same as it ever was. When you talk to them, though, everything screams that this is not the same person you knew.
A part of me knows it's always been true. Maybe it's like Shakespeare said, that we each play many roles. We can look much the same as we did a few years back, perhaps a little rougher around the ages, perhaps we've gained or lost a few pounds, but much the same. The trouble starts when we don't allow for growth to happen. Whether it's parents still clinging to their baby girl or friends hanging on tightly to days gone by, it's this idea of seeing one role for one person that bites us in the end. I know I've been guilty of it. I have a lot of friends that I only know in a certain capacity. It doesn't matter if I've seen them last week or last decade; I always pick out the best memory of them, how we got along best, and that's how I continue to see them. Granted, it's not as bad as seeing Hannah where there's only Jenny. It as bad as telling someone you liked them better ten years ago. I've done that way too often and when I haven't gone so far as that, I've thought it.
It's my hang-up and not anyone else's. Most people can recognize and roll with the punches when it comes to people. Me? I've never been good at patience. I've never been good at adjusting. I learn one way to deal with someone and I deal with them like that until something catastrophic happens to change that. Barring that, I change nothing.
It still bothers me that people change so much on the inside when they change so little on the outside. It confuses me. It'd be easier if there was a better correlation between the two, if every epoch in that person's life was marked with a cosmetic change. Because some people, I see them and it's like 1995 again and all I know how to do is treat them the way I did in 1995. Because some people, I talk to them and it's like I'm talking to them for the first time. Because some people, I got to trust them when they were younger and lost that trust in them when they got older.
Going back in my head is far easier than moving forward with my heart.
I don't know this Jenny. Hannah is always going to be Hannah to me.
Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers
Labels: acting, Friendship, persona, The Brunettes, time passing
posted by mojo shivers @ 2:18 AM
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