Whatever We Deny Or Embrace, For Worse Or For Better, We Belong, We Belong, We Belong Together
--"We Belong", Pat Benetar
When I first tried to come up with something decent to honor my friend Toby's 16th birthday I went through the usual go-to formats. I started devising a poem, which I may use next year, but that didn't seem appropriate since she sees far better lyricism in her everyday reading than I could ever produce. Then I went to doing a list, but that seems like a private affair between me and Little Miss Chipper. It wouldn't do to try and pigeonhole her into that tradition a good four years after it was started. Finally, I decided the best way to commemorate a special occasion such as Marion's birthday is to simply write from the heart and let the words fall where they may.
What I can say that I haven't known her for long. I only met her on the RK.net forums last year. However, it's a testament to her extraordinary intellect and personality that I took an immediate liking to her. Some people it takes me weeks or months of knowing them to even say the merest of words to them. It's fairly safe to say that she and I had that first exchange of ideas and hit the ground running. Perhaps one can attribute this falling into a type--young, intelligent, emotionally open--that I seem drawn to. After all, the same could be said about Breanne, Tara, or even Heidi. I don't know--that seems the type I always enjoy conversing with the most. They always have a lot to say. I don't have to worry about them playing a ton of mind games. Most of all, they just make for good company.
However, the one aspect of Toby's personality that's always appealed to me is her willingness to be vulnerable. Aside from myself, I have never met another individual who lays all their cards on the table as much as they do. She goes beyond being honest about her life; she talks about her fears and insecurities as if they were an everyday occurrence because, for the most part, they are. I mean--on one hand, I relish learning how the other side lives the way Lucy's so confident and forthright. But it's the fact that the youngest Frisson sister is willing to peel back the layers of what makes her tick that binds us in a way that the only Holins daughter and I will never be bonded. In the former case, it's an example of opposites attracting. In the latter case, it's an example of birds of a feather flocking together. There's a reason why I've taken to jokingly referring to Miss Toby as my protege. She's not only like me when I was her age, but I can foresee her taking the same sweet steps I took when I got to them.
Perhaps that's why I like her so much. Perhaps that's why anyone likes anyone else deep down. On some base level, they remind you of you. In a lot of ways, people connect because they share something--sometimes it's interests, sometimes it's demeanor, sometimes it's a basic approach to life. That's what always shines brightest to me about Toby. Like my heroes Linus and Eeyore, she possesses this fundamental realistic, yet romantic approach to life that I've always espoused. She finds happiness in the components of life that really matter to her. She doesn't feign happiness for appearance's sake. She doesn't seek it out because she's afraid to face her sadness, bitterness, or disappointment. She laughs when she thinks something's funny, cries when something's sad, and gets angry when something upsets her. There's not a false bone in her body. Indeed, I daresay she's more honest than me because she's surrounded herself with people who've come to appreciate this quality to her character, whereas I still have people in my life who I have to pretend around.
The first moment she uttered her mantra, "Don't postpone joy." I knew she was going to be somebody I could appreciate. A lot of people in their time, go chasing after the big dream all the time, forgoing the people and pleasures that make the everyday memorable. I've always been in favor of the philosophy of "if it makes you happy, then it can't be that bad." Her philosophy and my philosophy meld so well that it's not a far reach for me to flow right into hers. Those two facets of her character, her willingness to commit to whatever emotional state she is in and her ability to manufacture joy in each and every little thing she does make her such an incredible person to me.
Everybody has their ups and downs. Toby's one of the few people who's managed the trick of riding both with equal aplomb.
Now, she's finally sixteen. She's finally reached that age where she's beginning to take those first steps to adulthood. Getting her license, preparing herself for the end of school and the beginning of college, starting to think more seriously about how the rest of her life is going to go--these are all the momentous milestones she's going to begin to face in this and the next few years. But I'm not worried about her. Not only do I believe she has a good head on her shoulders, but I believe she's well on her way to becoming one of those individuals who hits her stride right after high school rather than before or during it. Not only is she academically ready for college, but she's far more prepared for her collegiate career and beyond than I ever was. She possesses a maturity that I wish I had when I was her age. That's one of the best compliments I could give anyone since I have the utmost respect for anyone who knows what they want out of their lives and takes all the steps necessary to make it happen. Like I said, she doesn't have this one overriding pursuit for her life; she's just dabbling in many avenues so that when the right avenue does present itself, she can arrive at the end of the avenue as quickly and as joyfully as possible. She's doesn't need to conform life to fit into her narrow goals, just as she doesn't need to conform herself into any one thing life is telling her to be; she's infinitely proficient in the majority of the vital life skills that she truly can do anything she sets her mind to. She's going to go far, mark my words. The only question that needs to be answered is in which direction or directions.
It's said that the fairest judge of a person's character is the quantity and quality of the company they keep. I may not do so good in the quantity department since I'm the master of letting far too many people go from my life. Yet I'm happy to say that I've managed to embrace my fair share of decent and endearing human beings, people who make me a better person for being their friend, people who make me strive to never their trust in me. Toby is one of those rare people that I'm glad I measure up to her standard of friendship.
My friendship with her is one choice I'm glad I got right.
I wish her all the best for her sixteenth and look forward to celebrating many more birthdays with her in my fold.
Happy Birthday, Miss Delfty. Congratulations.
Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers
When I first tried to come up with something decent to honor my friend Toby's 16th birthday I went through the usual go-to formats. I started devising a poem, which I may use next year, but that didn't seem appropriate since she sees far better lyricism in her everyday reading than I could ever produce. Then I went to doing a list, but that seems like a private affair between me and Little Miss Chipper. It wouldn't do to try and pigeonhole her into that tradition a good four years after it was started. Finally, I decided the best way to commemorate a special occasion such as Marion's birthday is to simply write from the heart and let the words fall where they may.What I can say that I haven't known her for long. I only met her on the RK.net forums last year. However, it's a testament to her extraordinary intellect and personality that I took an immediate liking to her. Some people it takes me weeks or months of knowing them to even say the merest of words to them. It's fairly safe to say that she and I had that first exchange of ideas and hit the ground running. Perhaps one can attribute this falling into a type--young, intelligent, emotionally open--that I seem drawn to. After all, the same could be said about Breanne, Tara, or even Heidi. I don't know--that seems the type I always enjoy conversing with the most. They always have a lot to say. I don't have to worry about them playing a ton of mind games. Most of all, they just make for good company.
However, the one aspect of Toby's personality that's always appealed to me is her willingness to be vulnerable. Aside from myself, I have never met another individual who lays all their cards on the table as much as they do. She goes beyond being honest about her life; she talks about her fears and insecurities as if they were an everyday occurrence because, for the most part, they are. I mean--on one hand, I relish learning how the other side lives the way Lucy's so confident and forthright. But it's the fact that the youngest Frisson sister is willing to peel back the layers of what makes her tick that binds us in a way that the only Holins daughter and I will never be bonded. In the former case, it's an example of opposites attracting. In the latter case, it's an example of birds of a feather flocking together. There's a reason why I've taken to jokingly referring to Miss Toby as my protege. She's not only like me when I was her age, but I can foresee her taking the same sweet steps I took when I got to them.
Perhaps that's why I like her so much. Perhaps that's why anyone likes anyone else deep down. On some base level, they remind you of you. In a lot of ways, people connect because they share something--sometimes it's interests, sometimes it's demeanor, sometimes it's a basic approach to life. That's what always shines brightest to me about Toby. Like my heroes Linus and Eeyore, she possesses this fundamental realistic, yet romantic approach to life that I've always espoused. She finds happiness in the components of life that really matter to her. She doesn't feign happiness for appearance's sake. She doesn't seek it out because she's afraid to face her sadness, bitterness, or disappointment. She laughs when she thinks something's funny, cries when something's sad, and gets angry when something upsets her. There's not a false bone in her body. Indeed, I daresay she's more honest than me because she's surrounded herself with people who've come to appreciate this quality to her character, whereas I still have people in my life who I have to pretend around.
The first moment she uttered her mantra, "Don't postpone joy." I knew she was going to be somebody I could appreciate. A lot of people in their time, go chasing after the big dream all the time, forgoing the people and pleasures that make the everyday memorable. I've always been in favor of the philosophy of "if it makes you happy, then it can't be that bad." Her philosophy and my philosophy meld so well that it's not a far reach for me to flow right into hers. Those two facets of her character, her willingness to commit to whatever emotional state she is in and her ability to manufacture joy in each and every little thing she does make her such an incredible person to me.
Everybody has their ups and downs. Toby's one of the few people who's managed the trick of riding both with equal aplomb.
Now, she's finally sixteen. She's finally reached that age where she's beginning to take those first steps to adulthood. Getting her license, preparing herself for the end of school and the beginning of college, starting to think more seriously about how the rest of her life is going to go--these are all the momentous milestones she's going to begin to face in this and the next few years. But I'm not worried about her. Not only do I believe she has a good head on her shoulders, but I believe she's well on her way to becoming one of those individuals who hits her stride right after high school rather than before or during it. Not only is she academically ready for college, but she's far more prepared for her collegiate career and beyond than I ever was. She possesses a maturity that I wish I had when I was her age. That's one of the best compliments I could give anyone since I have the utmost respect for anyone who knows what they want out of their lives and takes all the steps necessary to make it happen. Like I said, she doesn't have this one overriding pursuit for her life; she's just dabbling in many avenues so that when the right avenue does present itself, she can arrive at the end of the avenue as quickly and as joyfully as possible. She's doesn't need to conform life to fit into her narrow goals, just as she doesn't need to conform herself into any one thing life is telling her to be; she's infinitely proficient in the majority of the vital life skills that she truly can do anything she sets her mind to. She's going to go far, mark my words. The only question that needs to be answered is in which direction or directions.
It's said that the fairest judge of a person's character is the quantity and quality of the company they keep. I may not do so good in the quantity department since I'm the master of letting far too many people go from my life. Yet I'm happy to say that I've managed to embrace my fair share of decent and endearing human beings, people who make me a better person for being their friend, people who make me strive to never their trust in me. Toby is one of those rare people that I'm glad I measure up to her standard of friendship.
My friendship with her is one choice I'm glad I got right.
I wish her all the best for her sixteenth and look forward to celebrating many more birthdays with her in my fold.
Happy Birthday, Miss Delfty. Congratulations.
Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers
Labels: Birthday, connection, Friendship, Pat Benetar, Toby
posted by mojo shivers @ 12:55 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home