I Felt All Flushed With Fever, Embarrassed By The Crowd, I Felt He Had Found My Letters, And Read Them Out Loud

--"Killing Me Softly", The Fugees

We've been writing for almost five years now. Personally, I've been here since the beginning, ever since I thought I'd be piloting this flight solo. In that time I've only met a few people who were reluctant in wanting me or anyone else here to share their stories with the world. By in large more people haven't had a problem with my reliving out whatever adventures or mishaps I happened to have shared with them. Most people take it as a compliment or as a small tribute that I would hold onto such treasured and deem them worthy enough of retelling. I don't know--I've always adopted a policy of no subject or story being off-limits and I would like to think everyone in my life is confident enough in their decisions for me to include most of the stories that involve them. I have nothing to hide and I believe everything I write here has some deeper purpose other than to spread gossip.

Yet there are one or two people who I've known for more than a few years that routinely refuse to allow their names to appear here. Breanne knows a few members of her family that do not believe it's polite to air their dirty laundry on a public site. Even Toby herself has had trouble in the past in including everything she's wanted to say about everyone she knows. Out of respect, we all have had to kill post ideas or otherwise change details to appease whomever it is that doesn't like the way an idea is presented. If it were up to me, I would run each story as is. But that's the danger in wanting to present an anecdote which involves too many other people; you kind of have the obligation to make them happy too if at all possible. It's one thing if the story in question involves a disagreement, but it's another thing entirely when all parties involved have a different take on an otherwise simply sequence of events.

I think that's why when I run stories about B. here I always ask if she's up for typing up a counterpoint post, a rebuttal, if you will. I mean--if I have at my disposal the viewpoint of the only other person there, then why not employ it, right?

Where the waters get somewhat murky are the points where I choose to write about somebody I no longer have any contact with. I'd love to tell you more stories about the lovely Heidi, but some of the details she shared with me at the bookstore were spoken in confidence and simply because they are compelling stories is not a valid enough reason to break the confidence. I'd love to detail each and every outing with Jennifer, but I feel bad enough writing about the dead that I get scared I'm doing the wrong thing in even bringing her name up. Then you have the people like Carly and Ilessa, whom I've simply lost contact with. I tend to write less and less about them the more time slips by between having last contact with them.

I guess that's why so much of the focus of my posts here is trained on me. You don't need permission if the only meaningful subject is yourself. You don't run the risk of embarrassing someone if the only someone you're choosing to write about is you. Don't get me wrong--if the post I want to run is compelling enough I won't hesitate to run with it. I just won't use somebody simply to fill pages.

First and foremost, this site is about the three of us here. There's never going to be a point where all we are doing is spreading rank rumors about our family and friends. Something here is never going to begin with the words, "So-and-so is doing this or that" and then not follow up with some meaningful connection to the statement. There's never going to be a point where the comings-and-goings of other people are ever going to be the focus of the pieces here. First and foremost, this is a place where we come to express how we see our world, our lives, and to look back on our past. If that past happens to include other people, so be it. I, for one, welcome the opportunity to show the breadth and depth of all the interesting people I know. And I probably could fill pages and pages with nothing but all the weird and wonderful stories these people have told me about their lives. But those aren't my stories to tell; if it didn't happen while I was there then it doesn't belong anywhere near here. I couldn't do that to somebody else; steal their stories just to provide something interesting to read here.

It's also the reason why I don't like including politics or religious topics here. Those are stories about other people that most of the time don't involve me directly. And if it's not about me then I really don't want to write about it nor have you read it about here.

It took me a long time to figure out the mission statement of california is a recipe for a black hole, but I finally got it narrowed down. The whole point of this place is to give a deeper insight to myself, to Breanne, and to Toby. If it doesn't fulfill that prime directive or if it distills that directive for other purposes, then it doesn't belong here.

Honestly, I'd rather tell a mundane story about me then tell the most exciting tale about somebody else I know. Let them write their own stories and choose how in-depth they want to delve. I can only tell you what I know and about what happened to me with complete honesty.

Let them write their own blogs if they want to.

Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers