DAI Forumers

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Read this

"But I listen a little closer, and I also hear a song of sorrow, of an epic battle in which I will fight mostly in defense. I do not think of death as an enemy; it is part of life. But the sadness comes from its approach, and the ways that I will see it advance, inexorable and inevitable. I will dance with death -- with those of others, and later of my own. But it is the suffering that I will see that will be hard to bear, and the knowledge of small steps that later became bigger leaps towards that dance of death, that will sing sadly to me as I lean over the bed of a Type II diabetic, overweight and dying of sugar, or try to placate the desperate heroin addict with methadone (which only partially abates the longing -- the craving never quite goes away), or try to calm the frenzy of the man in alcohol-induced delirium tremens as he shakes and moans to the shadows in his head. Sorrow. Regret. I can hear those minor chords now as I imagine that fight for delay, that fight for time. The medicines can only do so much, likewise the technology. But who am I to say what is the right dance through life? One of the loveliest piano pieces I ever played was named the Tarantella -- representing the mad whirl of a woman dancing uncontrollably, faster and faster, as the venom of a tarantula bite sped to her brain, until she collapsed to the floor, dead. "

This is the kind of humanistic free association that makes me very tender. I have the biggest crush on its author now solely through Xanga. But it is a love that makes me sad, mostly on account of my major.

Different peoples' advice all tornadoes around me. Maybe I should be trying to get to med school, if only to learn that vocabulary for life. Maybe I'm failing to divorce admiration from emulation. Rilke says you should either do art or something not art at all. Let it never be journalism or criticism or normal literature, whose "artistic" posturings are so invidious.

I don't notice a culture gap between myself and med students. They never seem less articulate or cultivated or sensitive. I have no edge. I haven't learned anything that might be of acute, college-level consequence to them, as they have surely learned things about me. I have arms and legs. They have arms, legs and wings. I'm destined to be the groundskeeper who knows some fun things about the ground, maybe. I'm going to be the janitor, who only has so many keys because he's stuck at the school.

Once before this happened to a lesser extent before but then she was very catty. This one is that one's good, impeccably good twin. The entries which end with her shouting out her boyfriend are discouraging, though.

Monday, May 29, 2006

i'm quiet, you know.

hahaha, man, earlier a friend asked, "So, what's your theme song?" Theme song? It's too early to have a theme song. XD it's scary. hahaha, i'm too scared to even mention. it's full of cheese and prolly a former top 40 hit last year. was it last year? hmm, yeah.

damn you, howie day! the skeleton is out of the closet.

so, what is new with me? hmm, finished my 2nd year of college. what an extremely stressful year, at my school's standards dunno about stateside. =\ everything feels too fast. i'll probably be done in another two years. i think that's scary too. getting into the job force, having to live on my own terms, waiting in lines, getting old. living on a small island with a population of roughly 150,000... it's hard to go unnoticed once you're in the limelight or something like it. i was telling a couple of friends earlier that once i start working, i can't even step into a lingerie shop with the peace of mind that the people i'm working with won't think of me that way. it's like.. i have to play some part--see prude. in a way, i think that'd be fun too. (^ ^)

tomorrow is summer school. prolly last time i go to summer school, too.

i hope this summer turns out to be interesting. =D

Monday, May 22, 2006

Life Accustomed

Alright, so it's not so bad. Maybe I was prejudice towards the environment. The crowd here isn't what I'm used to. The things to do and see are different as well.

Yeah, there's all kinds of traffic like how it is in H-town but it's a different kind. Here, there's more drivers hence more traffic. There, it's less drivers but they're the annoying asian bad drivers which if I could, I'd certainly let road rage take over and blast a few shells their way. But I'm not that disgruntle yet so that hasn't been done. Or at least it can't be proven...

But living out by the beach isn't so bad. In fact, I'm really starting to enjoy it. Life here is something I can adapt to.

It has it's obvious pluses. The most obvious being the weather. Although it's been shitty throughout So Cal lately, I know in the coming months when summer takes over and the sun throws up on us, it'll pay to be close to the beach feeling that cool sea breeze.

But I don't think it's necessarily the setting. More a change in mindset. Usually come the weekend I head back to the Heights to go hang out with my family and see my fobby and ghetto friends. They're all out there and I know they're too damn lazy to drive 40 minutes to come see my ass unless there's a big party or I'm on my death bed.

Fob: *cough* ".... Hey... aaaaa.... you guys want to come over?"
Fob's friend: "Like now? Is there chicks there? You throwing a party?"
Fob: *heart stops* "No... But I think I'm dying..."
Fob's friend: "Oh... well maybe. I don't know. I think there's traffic on the 60."
Fob: "...."

So to keep my social life going, I'd head back home to hang out and do things. And now I've realized it's not that there's nothing to do out here and that I've got no one to hang out with. It's more because I wasn't truly accepting of living out here. I didn't really give it a chance. And that way of thinking is changing.

I know this now because come the weekend, I really don't feel like heading back. I'd much rather stay and shoot the shit with my roommates or call up some friends around here and head down to the pier to drink myself under the table.

Who knows... maybe it's temporary. But in either case, I feel like I'm finally getting used to living here.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

I wish I had really expensive speakers with all platinum connections that gave perfect sound. Sometimes I worry that shiny pop music that was produced with million dollar equipment can't ever be reproduced truly without the equivalent rig, basically like there's a sixth sense that I don't have any comprehension of, which would make perfect the listening experience. I cannot even get the equalizer anywhere to crystallize acoustic and electric guitar sounds with the same setting.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

The Chick Magnet

Usually I don't mind the competition. In fact I tend to admire the physical qualities of an attractive male. But this guy! Standing next to him, I'll be lucky to even get noticed. And so it happens he's become my new roommate.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Watch out bitches! (And you female dogs too) Because Raider is out on the prowl! This cute little bastard automatically draws women to him. So what if his name is Raider and he's playing with a soccer ball? Pele was taken...

So the good and bad news. The good news is the owner, my roommate, has a woman. A very nice woman who helps me with my motherly duties around the house. So he can't use Raider to his full potential when it comes picking up the ladies. A skill I may call upon soon.

Hot girl: "Oh he's so cute!!!"
Fob: "Thanks, he is isn't he? I just shaved him."
Hot girl: "What's his name?"
Fob: "The little general..."
Hot girl: "That's kind of a weird name for the dog."
Fob: "Oh... you meant the dog!"

But the bad news, I'm Filipino. Which means you hand me some barbecue sauce and some wet naps and I got myself a tasty treat with this little guy. I know, I know. You're not suppose to eat dogs here in this country. But come on! Look at him. He probably taste like veal...

Monday, May 15, 2006

A Taste of Freedom

I guess that's how it goes. You get old. You work a lot. You hang out with the family. Go to dinners with your friends. Play cards with the boys. And every now and then... When the stars are aligned and the Gods are being kind to you, you get to go out and party like you used to.

Well sort of. I mean come on, I'm in my late 20's now. I'm not saying stuff doesn't work anymore. It just doesn't work as good as it used to. And I'm not talking about the piping down there. That works fine. Do I use it as much as I'd like to? Probably not unless you count the times I nut on my roommates pillow for being loud and obnoxious all night long.

But I'm referring to the overall ability of my body to function properly. Drinking or being up late takes a toll on my ability to think straight. Or think at all the next day.

Fob: *still drunk* "Hey Moms! Happy birthday you hot son of a bitch!"
Fob's mom: "You mean Happy Mother's day right?"
Fob: "Yeah that too! Look, I'm really thirsty. Can you get me another beer?"
Fob's mom: "Are you drunk?"
Fob: "No, are you?!?!"
Fob's mom: "No!"
Fob: "Well then..."

Regardless of the following stupidity the next day, this past weekend was surprisingly fun. I was able to go out and party it up like I used to. Drinking, dancing, and not having to worry about my finances or other 'grown-up' type problems. It was a nice getaway.

Will I do it again in the near future? Well the best I can say is hopefully not. My body can't handle it anymore on a consistent basis. But I know the next time an opportunity comes up, partying will be just like how I treat my women. No means yes...

Prison huh? We'll see about that...

Friday, May 12, 2006

So far the research for my so-called thesis-about-Hou is all just about Japanese directors. Got Ozu books, got Kurosawa books today and I know Mizoguchi books must be coming because of the three he's surely the closest in style.

What is going on?

1) Almost all the the NTC (New Taiwan Cinema) history I've found has been about the movement's politics.
2) Japan has a longer and more continuous industry, is bigger than Taiwan, wasn't in the shadow of HK and wasn't a dictatorship after WW2.
3) Maybe related to 2 but my crackpot assessment is that there is this weird longing in Hou's films for Japan, at least in MM and Cafe Lumiere. Associate that ad lib: Japan is really my utopia; Japanese colonialism is what was in Taiwan before humanity lost its mind in WW2; no one can make movies like Ozu's anymore (not so much a Taiwanese thing as what some critics and directors nowadays think); Japan is the alternative to becoming like PRC... Even when I first talked with Ban Wang about this he mentioned how Japan seems to have done a better job in preserving country life versus modern cities.

~

Incidentally Netflix sucks bad if you pay for it. I said earlier it's like in Audition--as long as you're exploiting her it's copacetic--but once you marry her get ready for a hypodermic in the cornea.

When I was doing a trial last summer everything shipped fast and slick as virgin olive oil but when I actually pay the Net-man money for his flix they take like 3-4 days longer to arrive, or if someone else has the film I want, rather than send me the next thing in my queue they just run the clock on my subscription taking my too-scarce money.

I was hoping to get my whole wish-list watched this month but now I'm not sure that's now possible. I subscribed like a week and a half ago and so far I've only seen two movies (Tokyo Story and Ugetsu--both fantastic and in re: the former after finding her annoying in No Regrets for Our Youth and plain in Late Spring I've got a crush on Setsuko Hara, who according to IMDB by the way is still alive).

Monday, May 08, 2006

USUALLY on this island

It didn't occur to me until watching a video for a class that roosters crow a lot here. Not just to say, "WAKE UP, BRO!" but whenever they want to. I dunno where all these birds come from.... Maybe they're related to these baby chicks my cousins bought years ago during some Easter special.. Like, if you have a receipt saying you spent $25 at a certain store, you get a baby chick for Easter.

So, anyway, about that video I watched... it was for a class... Had an interview with some fisherman who had tan lines from a "sando" (hahaha, undershirt/wife-beater, whatever the hell you call it on your side of the world), and sheesh, almost every minute a rooster would just crow. I kept laughing whenever that happened.

I used to think someone lived in an "affluent" part of the island, too--until I called him. And during the convo, a rooster crowed. This was late afternoon. I laughed about it when the phone call ended.

So, really, I think if I ever leave this place, I may miss the sound of a rooster crowing at whatever time of the day it feels like. It's an island thing... XD

Sunday, May 07, 2006

One of the films on my new queue. Incidentally Midnight Eye is a fantastic site, very thoughtful reviews (and book reviews!) and a breadth I've not seen before in books or sites, most of which just deal with the canonical or the cult.

The visual design of the Cutie Honey review alone makes me want to see that movie =O. God she is smoldering! That'll be the steak after yesterday's 40-minute Blade III salad--naturally. Yes my taste is bombing, though I still know Blade III is no Blade (I).

"Tony Takitani plays out with the ersatz sophistication of a glossy commercial for cars or perfume, composed of delicate images, slow-motion sequences, and a muted greyish colour palette." But isn't that how film should be? Perfume commercials are innovative. Seldom is "ersatz" needed to understand "sophistication" properly, but maybe I'm ascribing to the film in prospect the tone quality of Murakami's writing, how carefully he dances with the trite.


Watch live video from ALI* on Justin.tv

Thursday, May 04, 2006

So long mid 20's

Ah... the good ol' days. Having money to drink myself stupid all night long and wake up just fine for work the next day. And... well... the only other thing I can think of being in my mid 20's that's good is getting a break on a rental car. But yeah, the drunk one is nice.

Anyway, as of the past week I am now officially in my late 20's. Supposedly, my goals are suppose to change from here on. The former need of drinking myself into oblivion and waking up next to a she-beast are suppose to be replaced with making money to support my gold digging wife who's cheating on me with my neighbor's gardener. Damn cheatin' ho!!! I knew something was up when she said we needed to get our bushes whacked!

So that's my life. Career and family. And I won't lie about it. At this moment, the only thing that really matters is making a decent amount to support myself and possible a family of my own in the future. Who knows, maybe my first wife won't be such a bitch and leave me with nothing to give my second.

Fob: "Don't take the dog! You don't even like dogs!"
Mrs. Fob: "What are you talking about? He'll make an excellent taxidermy in front of our... I mean my couch."
Fob: "You bitch!!! Well... um... you were never good in bed!!!"
Mrs. Fob: "That's because I was better in other beds..."
Fob: "Son of a..." *wipes feet on couch* "Man, fuck yo couch!!!"