Hey, I Didn't Mean, To Cause A Big Scene, Just Give Me An Hour And Then, Well, I'll Be As High, As That Ivory Tower, That You're Livin' In

--"Friends In Low Places", Garth Brooks

It's no big secret that I'm a big fan of Maggie Gyllenhaal. Aside from Sarah Polley, she has to be my favorite actress who is still making the kind of movies enjoy from credits to credits. Ever since Secretary, where she absolutely blew me away with her believable transformation from docile wallflower to stubborn sexpot, I always anticipate her new movies with baited breath. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to see her latest starring role in Sherrybaby in the theaters like I wanted to (the prices we pay for being intrigued by small, indie films). But as soon as I saw the film up for sale on Ebay, I jumped on it. There's few performers I will shill out the money to purchase their body of work sight unseen, but I have yet to be disappointed with Mrs. Gyllenhaal's resume.

Upon seeing it for the first time this past weekend, I must honestly say that it's her best performance to date, including Secretary. There is so much to like about the film I don't even know where to begin. Granted, it's not everyone's cup of tea, but it has this quiet, understated grace to it that very few films these days do and I absolutely adore when a film can maintain believably. You won't find any car chases, any huge action scenes, or sequences of absolute horror or violence. The manner in which the film hooks the audience is by laying all its cards on the table. At its heart it's the story of a woman on the verge of falling back into the life that has already ruined much of her spirit and strength and claiming the life she knows she's capable of achieving. It's not much to build a plot around, but it gives oodles of depth to the main character and is a winning vehicle for somebody of Maggie's talents. Scene to scene, line to line, I was amazed at all the nuances and subtleties that the movie provided. It wasn't so much that the story itself was that interesting as much as how much I believed everything about the story. Time after time, I kept saying if I were in her shoes I would have probably made the same choices and felt the same frustrations. Repeatedly, I kept saying this is a movie I can identify with and that is rare gift to find in a piece of art.

It's the reason I think this will definitely be a recommendation for any and all who are in search of a good movie from 2006.


well, I guess I was wrong
I just don't belong

Ostensibly, the movie is the story about a woman who has just been paroled from prison for stealing in order to fuel her heroin habit. It then it delves into her struggles to build something resembling a normal life so that she can provide a good home and future for her daughter, who was being taken care of by the woman's brother and sister-in-law while the woman was locked up. We see how the world still views her as a fuck-up, from the manner in which she has to degrade herself to get a job she actually wants to the way she is treated by almost everyone she comes into contact with, including and especially her sister-in-law. We see how Sherry becomes disillusioned with the process of trying to reform herself, as if thinking to herself, "if the world expects I'll amount to nothing, then why am I trying this hard?" And then, finally, we see her come to a decision which she wants more, her daughter or her self-respect.

For me, however, what struck a chord was how hard she seemed to be railing against what she used to be and fought for what she wanted to be. People are always expecting a person to change for the better, but even when that person does, nobody believes it'll stick, which somehow is a saddening thought. It's not enough to make that kind of life-altering change in yourself. It's not enough that you have scratch and bite your way to redeeming yourself. You then also have to change people's minds about you too.

Everyone screws up from time to time and everyone has their faults. Yet it seems that, even while we're giving our friends or acquaintances encouragement to forego these trouble areas, we're patting ourselves on the back for not screwing up like them and not having their faults. We put ourselves in the position of feeling superior to them because we're able to say to them, "hey, I never made your mistakes and look how good I turned out. Maybe if you stop fucking up, you can be as great as me."

Inevitably, they take our advice, thus negating our feelings of moral superiority, and suddenly we're on equal footing with them again. So what do we do? We maintain an air of credulity at their metamorphosis, we scoff at their transformation. We don't want to lose that edge and we don't want to lose our opportunity to feel benevolent. After all, if they can cure what ails them, then pretty soon it'll go back to focusing on what's wrong with ourselves and they'll be the ones giving us advice on how to alleviate our stress and strife.

That's what I like about Sherrybaby. It places up a mirror to this aspect of dealing with loved ones and pokes holes in the theory that any one person is above reproach. Yeah, sure, Sherry does shoulder a lot of the blame in ruining her life by delving into drugs, abandoning her daughter, and not getting serious about her life until she goes to jail. However, once she's out, it seems everyone's determined to not give her a leg up and give her the benefit of the doubt that she is a better person already. They all want to tell her that she's still bad, she's still immature, effectively telling her that she'll never be as good as the rest of us.

I don't know what my point is. I think it's just that with all the hubbub I've been dealing with over this vacation debacle, I've been feeling like people want to come down on me and her for placing ourselves in a position to make a mistake. And I guess the point that I've been considering is that, like Breanne says, sometimes you have to give people the benefit of the doubt... even if it's only us giving ourselves permission to show that we're a different breed now.

I want to think that just because I've screwed up in the past with how I think and act when it comes to Breanne, that I'm different and I deserve some leeway when it comes to naysayers. It's been a long time since I muffed up life completely and I don't intend to start now and I don't intend to start with her. It's my opportunity to prove I can do the decent thing when given the chance.

Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers