Vivian, Your Life Is Told Through Nineteen Thousand Pages, In A World Too Unreal To Behold, Your Innoncence Has Faded, Faded All Your Blues To Gray

--"Lost Girls", Tilly and the Wall

It came up in conversation today that there aren't a lot of alcohol-related names for people. Now, while I don't have a particular need for there to be more Vodkas and Champagne's out there, I've always thought that a pretty name can come from any milieu or facet of life. I like original names. Names that I haven't heard before I almost always ask the story where they originated from. Also, I've always been intent on coming up with a suitably unique for my kids, if I ever get around to having some. Why not something drink-related? I mean--I always thought my friend Brandy's name was quite pretty and that's from the world of spirits and other intoxicating liquids, so why shouldn't there be more?

In short, the last hour of my workday was spent in the pursuit of a name that was both whimsical and had something to do with drinking or drink name. We ran the whole gamut--from my Bourbon to just plain Rum--but nothing sounded suitable. I didn't want something silly. I wanted a name that I might actually think about using someday. That's when I hit upon a girl called Whiskey. It sounded ridiculous at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I liked it. It has that "nickname" ring to it, which is always a good sign that one has hit upon something usable. Not only that, but it has that effeminate "-y" sound to it that distinguishes it from being a boy's name. None of that matters much anyways since most people aren't going to like the name at first since it is so out of the ordinary. Nope, when it really comes down to it, the name Whiskey just amuses me as an idea for somebody's name. I can totally picture a girl named Whiskey somewhere as being a person of substance and character without knowing much else about her. The name has a legacy all its own.

That's where my colleague said I may run into a problem with giving that name to a daughter. The fact it does have connotations, the fact that upon first mention it is rather odd, and the fact kids have a desire to fit in (well, most kids at least). I've always had it that the more unique a person is, the more assured they are of who they are. Then again, that's looking back from an adult perspective so I can totally see her point. I imagine it would be hard going to class each day surround by the Toms, Sallys, and Janes of the world and having to announce with a straight face that your name is Whiskey. Nobody likes to be ostracized and it's an awful burden to place on somebody just starting out in the world, I suppose.

But I've always thought that a name is more than what you're called. It's your signature in your life. It's one of the first things that distinguishes you when you're trying to create a legacy. I know for myself that I made a choice to go by my middle name rather than go by my first name. My dad is Ernest(o), I've always been Patrick. As far back as eight-years-old I knew it would be important to me that nobody ever mistake me for my dad. I can only guess that it would have bothered me silly as well if there had been another Patrick in my first few years of school. I was that intent that nobody in my sphere be anything like me. Even later on, most of the people I meet now call me Mojo or, at least, use that name the majority of the time over Patrick. There are a lot of Patricks in the world; not so many of the mojos.

That's why I like the name Whiskey so much and that's why I'd hope any kid of mine would come to relish the name. You won't find Whiskey in any baby books. You won't find Whiskey pre-printed on any keychains or name plates found at any gift store. You won't even find Whiskey listed in the phone book (yet). Yes, I'd be saddling her with a name to defend, much in the same vein as the guy in the song "A Boy Named Sue." My co-worker doesn't think it'd be very fair to do that to anyone. She was even suggesting that I use Whiskey as the middle name and choose a more "appropriate" first name, that way the poor hypothetical girl would have the option to fit in or be more unique.

I say that's no choice at all.

If there is to be expectations placed on any child of mine, if they are going to walk through this world with the baggage of having a name chosen for them, I'd rather they have the expectations of a name that has never been heard before--being the oddball, being the weird one, being the independently-minded one--than being someone whose name has been used hundreds of years already. I'd rather have her deal with carving our her own niche as a Whiskey than being saddled with a name like Victoria or Helen or even the requisite Brittany or Tiffany. To me that'd make all the difference. If names are the covers we're judged by of the books we are, then a name like Whiskey would be the title you're not sure of, you have no ideas what it's about, and you don't know if you want to give your time getting curled up with while a name like Victoria would be like the classic piece of literature that you've read in class dozens and know what you're getting into.

Whatever she turned out to be, she couldn't be boring with a name like that. She'd practically be forced to stand out and be her own person. She couldn't rely on the luxury of blending into the crowd; she'd have to be unique. She might not have to fight her way through the world because of the name, but she'd definitely be a person with a fighting chance to be recognized in a good portion of the world because of the name. The world's a scary enough place without the courage to believe you can make a difference, without the idea that you have a special place in it.


girl, I know the hall looks dark
& the storm it seems so scary


Whiskey will be a girl to be reckoned with, one way or another.

Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers