If There's Any Good In Me, It Must Be Plain To See, 'Cause It's Your Fingerprints Inside The Very Heart Of Me
--"Wonderful", Jump 5
To Marion on her 17th year of living...
When I met Toby back in 2007 she was a very self-conscious and pragmatic fourteen-year-old, prone to periods of doubt. Now that she has reached the ripe old age of seventeen I still find her very self-conscious. I still find her very pragmatic. And those moments of doubt still creep up upon occasion. And yet--it's been an interesting span of two years, getting to know her better and also getting to see how much she has transformed her since then. It's been like watching a river work its way down to ocean. There were bumps and there were twists. And, sure, there were times where it became rather difficult to hazard a guess as to where her journey might take her. And, sure, I don't exactly know what lies ahead of her. From where I stand, though, she's already covered so much ground that to reflect upon it is certainly breathtaking.
I never thought I'd be writing about her two years later or that she would come to be one of my closest confidantes, but the facts stand where they're placed. She has become all those things. I, in return, have accepted the fact that I may have just learned a trick or two about her myself in those intervening years. For one, it's plain to see she's blossomed as someone who questions the world. I've seen those peerless lenses with which she once only viewed only her problems and only her concerns turned outward a bit more. I've seen her open up to the possibility that there is more to the world than good 'ole Lorryville and more to concern herself with than just plain Toby Claire Frisson, a feat I've never been able to accomplish all that successfully. People always concern themselves with how they are perceived, what they look like to other people. I think it's a brighter sign of maturity when one can start to begin to see how they perceive others and how others look to them is far more worthy of investigation. She hasn't gotten all of society figured out just yet, but it's an interesting development to see her in the first footsteps of that pursuit.
It's also been interesting, yet sad, to see her lose some of the innocence that first made her noticeable. She isn't quite the doe-eyed impassioned youth that I first met. She's gotten a little rough around the edges. She's also become a little more skeptical, even cynical about the world. While it's all fine and dandy to think ideally about everything, it's also a sign of becoming older when pragmatism becomes applied to more than just studies, religion, and personal philosophy. I'm a bit saddened to see the little girl who used to accept everything at face value go, but in her place I'm beginning to notice the first unmistakable signs of a challenging, and fiercely questioning, young woman in her stead. I'm seeing a vibrant young woman beginning to really figure out her place in the world at large--not just how she fits in, but also how she can break out a few of the boxes she may have been placed into from an early age.
Additionally, while I was out visiting her that in addition to her proneness to moments of somber reflection, she's also started to develop new tools of discourse and discussion in her education outside the classroom. Rather than instantly fall back to the relative safety of her own mind to muddle through her problems, she's began to look to others more and more as a viable means to a solution. Before she was always of the persuasion to hear advice but not really listen to it; she was always of the mindset that other people were only good for confession rather than absolution. Now more than ever I'm beginning to hear her find out the distinction between simply doing as she was told, as she used to be prone to do, to sifting the wheat from the chaff. She's beginning to rely on others for advice rather than herself while at the same time remaining in control of her ultimate fate. I think it's this precarious juggling act of balancing her quiet independence against her will to be accommodating to almost everyone that is her greatest accomplishment so far. She's always been the best at smoothing out the frayed ends of any situation; she's always been the troubleshooter rather than the instigator. Now she's learning to accept the fact that sometimes she's going to be the one with the frayed ones or the troubles to be shot; and not to be afraid to let someone do the heavy lifting for her for a change.
However, lastly and most importantly, as I reflect on my favorite Toby turning seventeen this year, I would be remiss if I didn't mention how much she's changed me in addition to changing herself. Just by knowing her, I've become a little less temperamental and a lot less impatient when it comes to dealing with people. I'm not perfect in those areas yet by any means, but by seeing how swiftly Toby resolves her problems with people and by seeing how just by being nice 117% of the time can win you a lot more points over your lifetime, it's slowly dawning on me that there is more than one way to act in any given situation. While it feels a tad wrong to say since it is her birthday, I just wanted to take the time to thank the youngest contributor here for that gift and all the rest of the gifts she's given me over these last few years.
Happy Birthday, Toby, and I'm sorry this note of my admiration for you is so tardy in its execution.
Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers
To Marion on her 17th year of living...When I met Toby back in 2007 she was a very self-conscious and pragmatic fourteen-year-old, prone to periods of doubt. Now that she has reached the ripe old age of seventeen I still find her very self-conscious. I still find her very pragmatic. And those moments of doubt still creep up upon occasion. And yet--it's been an interesting span of two years, getting to know her better and also getting to see how much she has transformed her since then. It's been like watching a river work its way down to ocean. There were bumps and there were twists. And, sure, there were times where it became rather difficult to hazard a guess as to where her journey might take her. And, sure, I don't exactly know what lies ahead of her. From where I stand, though, she's already covered so much ground that to reflect upon it is certainly breathtaking.
I never thought I'd be writing about her two years later or that she would come to be one of my closest confidantes, but the facts stand where they're placed. She has become all those things. I, in return, have accepted the fact that I may have just learned a trick or two about her myself in those intervening years. For one, it's plain to see she's blossomed as someone who questions the world. I've seen those peerless lenses with which she once only viewed only her problems and only her concerns turned outward a bit more. I've seen her open up to the possibility that there is more to the world than good 'ole Lorryville and more to concern herself with than just plain Toby Claire Frisson, a feat I've never been able to accomplish all that successfully. People always concern themselves with how they are perceived, what they look like to other people. I think it's a brighter sign of maturity when one can start to begin to see how they perceive others and how others look to them is far more worthy of investigation. She hasn't gotten all of society figured out just yet, but it's an interesting development to see her in the first footsteps of that pursuit.
It's also been interesting, yet sad, to see her lose some of the innocence that first made her noticeable. She isn't quite the doe-eyed impassioned youth that I first met. She's gotten a little rough around the edges. She's also become a little more skeptical, even cynical about the world. While it's all fine and dandy to think ideally about everything, it's also a sign of becoming older when pragmatism becomes applied to more than just studies, religion, and personal philosophy. I'm a bit saddened to see the little girl who used to accept everything at face value go, but in her place I'm beginning to notice the first unmistakable signs of a challenging, and fiercely questioning, young woman in her stead. I'm seeing a vibrant young woman beginning to really figure out her place in the world at large--not just how she fits in, but also how she can break out a few of the boxes she may have been placed into from an early age.
Additionally, while I was out visiting her that in addition to her proneness to moments of somber reflection, she's also started to develop new tools of discourse and discussion in her education outside the classroom. Rather than instantly fall back to the relative safety of her own mind to muddle through her problems, she's began to look to others more and more as a viable means to a solution. Before she was always of the persuasion to hear advice but not really listen to it; she was always of the mindset that other people were only good for confession rather than absolution. Now more than ever I'm beginning to hear her find out the distinction between simply doing as she was told, as she used to be prone to do, to sifting the wheat from the chaff. She's beginning to rely on others for advice rather than herself while at the same time remaining in control of her ultimate fate. I think it's this precarious juggling act of balancing her quiet independence against her will to be accommodating to almost everyone that is her greatest accomplishment so far. She's always been the best at smoothing out the frayed ends of any situation; she's always been the troubleshooter rather than the instigator. Now she's learning to accept the fact that sometimes she's going to be the one with the frayed ones or the troubles to be shot; and not to be afraid to let someone do the heavy lifting for her for a change.
However, lastly and most importantly, as I reflect on my favorite Toby turning seventeen this year, I would be remiss if I didn't mention how much she's changed me in addition to changing herself. Just by knowing her, I've become a little less temperamental and a lot less impatient when it comes to dealing with people. I'm not perfect in those areas yet by any means, but by seeing how swiftly Toby resolves her problems with people and by seeing how just by being nice 117% of the time can win you a lot more points over your lifetime, it's slowly dawning on me that there is more than one way to act in any given situation. While it feels a tad wrong to say since it is her birthday, I just wanted to take the time to thank the youngest contributor here for that gift and all the rest of the gifts she's given me over these last few years.
Happy Birthday, Toby, and I'm sorry this note of my admiration for you is so tardy in its execution.
Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers
Labels: Birthdays, Evolution of Friendships, influences, Jump5, Toby
posted by mojo shivers @ 1:07 AM
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