And I Don't Want To Change Your Life, But There's A Warm Wind Blowing The Stars Around, And I'd Really Love To See You Tonigh

--"I'd Really Love To See You Tonight", England Dan

I'm in the midst of a crisis here. I'm debating whether or not to see Paranormal Activity 2 later today. Normally I wouldn't even hesitate going out to see a horror movie because they don't often scare me that much. I've been through all the horror movies relatively unscathed because most of the time the combination of the supernatural effects and overwrought acting are enough to bring my disbelief to the forefront. Most of the time when I leave the theater I leave the movie behind me.

Yet that didn't happen with Paranormal Activity.

That movie scared the fucking crap out of me.

Literally two or three weeks after I saw the movie I was still frightened to go to sleep at night. Of any horror movie that one was designed to push my specific buttons. It didn't have a cavalcade of CGI effects to distinguish it as a movie. It didn't have people who seemed to be reading from a script. Most importantly, it dealt with what happens to you while you were asleep. If there's one subject matter that unnerves me it's the idea that anyone or anything can disturb you while you are sleeping. That's a huge fear of mine, being attacked in my sleep. Paranormal Activity is just scene after scene of a couple being severely attacked in the middle of the night.


hello, yeah, it's been awhile
not much, how 'bout you?

I'm not like Lucy. I can't hear or watch a ghost story and remain unaffected. As much as I love to hear them, if it's told well there will be repercussions for me.

That's where my conundrum comes in. Just as at St. Rita's when I would check out Strangely Enough, a collection of possibly the best "true" American ghost stories ever written, and its sequel, The Strangest People in the World, I do enjoy being scared. Reading all sorts of ghost stories and supernatural tales is a hobby that Breanne and I do share. I just can't stay away even though I know it's going to bite me in the end. I'm just like those kids whose parents tell them not to watch anything scary before bed because it will keep them up all night. I have both an attraction and a fear of those certain kinds of stories.

I know what's going to happen. I will have to go through another couple of weeks of being afraid to sleep in my own bed. I'm going to be calling all my close friends to talk to me until I get drowsy. I'm going to sleep more often with the night light on. And for what? Just so I can see if the sequel lives up to the original? I don't know if that's a good enough reason to put myself through such hell.

And yet despite my best efforts not to give into temptations, I know myself too. Somehow, some way, I'm going to convince myself that it won't be so bad this time since I know what to expect. I'm going to talk myself into being brave for those few hours and then have it all shatter when I get home.

Sigh. Tonight's going to suck. I just know it. LOL

Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers