But I Would Walk 500 Miles, And I Would Walk 500 More, Just To Be The Man Who Walks A Thousand Miles, To Fall Down At Your Door

--"I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)", The Proclaimers

I've been thinking about buying a new pair of cowboy boots.

I know--cowboy boots aren't exactly everyone's cup of tea. Plus, wearing them in California isn't exactly a common occurrence, but ever since I had my first pair gifted to me about seven years ago I've thought, somehow in some way, they work for me. I mean--I'm not exactly known for my overwhelming love of shoes. I don't rush out and buy a new pair every year. Overall, I'd much rather have a good pair of shoes that goes with everything, or at least what I normally wear, and lasts a long time. I don't need to know what everyone else is wearing. Hell, I don't even need to know what goes with what. I like what I like and I don't necessarily feel the need to have seventeen pairs of shoes for seventeen different occasions.

Cowboy boots fit the bill.

Mostly I'm just looking for something to reward myself with after getting this new job. For almost a year now I've had to curtail my impulsive purchasing. Rather than buy everything I wanted when I wanted, I only did it half the time, which is my version of self-control. And high on the list of things I wanted to buy this year were cowboy boots. Before it always seemed like a splurge rather than a necessity since the chief reason I want them is to proclaim my desire to be somewhat different than the teeming masses who go out in the world. Yet somehow I felt wanting to be different was not truly a worthwhile reason to spend northwards of $150 on a pair of shoes. There are other ways to verify my uniqueness, ways that don't require me to spend a day's wages on a single item.


and when I'm dreaming, well I know I'm gonna dream
I'm gonna dream about the time when I'm with you

I don't know what it is about me that equates being different with being myself, but I feel like there's a part of me that's forever stretching to display all these different sides of me in order to get someone to notice me. I've never thought of myself as someone who gravitated towards the spotlight. However, deep down, while most of us don't need fame exactly, we're all searching for some type of recognition. Like Radiohead said, we want someone to notice when we're not around. We want to make an impression on the people around us, good or bad, just to assure ourselves that somehow we matter. And it can be showcasing our talents, or befriending a thousand people, or even something as simple as wearing a specific type of footwear, but we're all searching for that next best thing that will get the world to see us for who we want to be.

Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers