I'm A New Soul, I Came To This Strange World, Hoping I Could Learn A Bit, About How To Give And Take

--"New Soul", Yael Naim

The question is can a old dog learn a new trick. The answer is it depends who the old dog is. I always thought I was open to change, that I was one of those people who took life easy until it was time not to take it easy. Sure, I was stubborn and, yes, there were a lot of issues that I absolutely put my foot down. But those occasions were few and far between for most people. Most people just saw me as someone who was up for doing anything. In fact, it's only the people who know me well who really know how stubborn I can be. I try to be flexible whenever possible. However, the more I age and the more years pass me by, the more I realize how inflexible I'm becoming.

I got chewed out at work recently, but it was hard for my supervisor to put into exact words exactly what I was doing wrong. The most he could say was that I was doing A to B fine, but he wanted me to start anticipating doing C, D, E before they came up, which I guess is a fair assessment of view towards life and work. I don't try to anticipate work, I don't try to anticipate problems. I've always been a come-as-they-may type of person. It's not in my purview to look for more to work on. I have a hard enough time trying to look past all the stuff that's falling down now to worry about what other shoe is going to drop later on. Yet the chewing out has got me thinking that I need to do more than what's expected of me. I need to challenge myself to become more of the person who looks to plug all the holes; not just the hole in front of me at the time.

I don't know--I guess some people could call that lazy. My cousin certainly does. I prefer to think of that as perceiving the world as capable of moving without me. I don't want to fit myself in where I don't belong. I just want to carve out my little niche and to hell with the rest of it. But, again, like my supervisor says, I may prefer doing things on my own, but I'm part of a team at work. Not only that I live in an existence where I'm constantly running into other people I have to get along with. I don't exist in a vacuum. For me right now, people are unavoidable. Not that I avoid all people, but it's not as easy as I would like it avoiding the people who annoy me, who destroy the peacefulness of my day, who make me contemplate what it'd be like to be a hermit. I must evolve back into being the person who seeks new challenges rather than solving the same old ones time and time again. I must evolve back into being the person who went out and met new people rather than milking the great people I already have in my life until they're blue in the face from hanging out with me all the time. I must evolve into being more than who I am now.

So, yes, the question once more is can you teach an old dog a new trick?

The answer?

God, I hope so.

Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers