Falling Slowly, Eyes That Know Me, And I Can't Go Back, Moods That Take Me And Erase Me, And I'm Painted Black, You Have Suffered Enough
--"Falling Slowly", Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova from the Once Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
Tomorrow one of my favorite movies from 2007 comes out on DVD. I don't know if it's even fair to call Once a movie. I mean--the entire thing was shot in less than two weeks on reportedly $10,000. It feels like watching a home movie about two people who meet, fall in love in an instant, and their subsequent thrusts and parries into and at love. I don't want to spoil what happens, but sufficed it to say it has a lot in common with Curly's old line in City Slickers when he was asked if he ever fell in love before. He answers simply "once." That's what this movie is like. Since it's told over the span of three or four days, it's not so much about whether these two unnamed characters have a relationship that lasts years and years; it's more about the careful study of how quickly one does fall and what one is capable of when in the midst of such heady inspiration. Yes, the movie is a musical, but unlike most musicals it never segues into people bursting into song. It's about how two musicians who meet and make that connection that so hard to find make beautiful together. When the songs play, it never feels like they're tacked onto the plot. They are the plot. The songs these two characters play are the songs that each inspires from the other. It's the music that happens in such miraculous collaborations. They're singing as they're writing them, working on them, as they're trying to put into music and lyrics what they're feeling because what they're feeling would be too embarrassing to say to one another.
I daresay it's the most romantic and true-to-life picture of what true love is supposed to feel like I've seen this year. It doesn't matter what happens after the movie ends, what happens to the characters. This was their inception into something resplendent. They'll always have that.
Or, as the movie poster asks:
it's time that you won
----
from a conversation I had on 12/08/07...
mojo shivers: State your name and how long we've known each other.
Brandy: Dr. Brandy Peirs. And what? '91? That would make it sixteen years very off and then back on again in the last year-and-a-half.
ms: And just to give people a sense of who you are, how would you describe yourself?
B: I try to think of myself as a simple person--nothing too flashy. I try to be direct whenever possible--I believe you called me unimaginative to a credit a few months back. I am nothing if not practical.
ms: So you're not prone to bouts of impulse or spur-of-the-moment decisions?
B: Not usually.
ms: But you've fallen in love, right?
B: Once.
ms: And that wasn't a conscious decision? You knew right away, you said.
B: I did.
ms: You never questioned it? You never took a step back and tried to rationalize it?
B: No, with Joshua I knew.
ms: How could you be sure?
B: Well, for one, I was with someone for four years--through high school and into college. I thought the two of us were on a path for marriage for sure. But once I met Joshua, I knew the guy I was with wasn't the one.
ms: And after four years you just ended things? That quickly?
B: I did.
ms: But you claim you're not impulsive?
B: I'm usually not. There are just some decisions that become clear once you see them. He was one of them.
ms: Then you and Joshua started going out...
B: We did.
ms: And you eventually moved in together?
B: After four months.
ms: How could you be so sure? What was it about him that made you act so rashly and impetuously?
B: The easiest way I can describe it is that we fell into a rhythm one another. Almost immediately. I didn't have to explain to him how I did things, nor him to me.
I can remember our first dinner together at my home, before we moved in. I had started to clean up and was beginning to rinse the dishes to load into the dishwasher. He came up and began clearing the rest of the table while I stayed at the sink. It was like we had been doing it for years. There wasn't any awkward protest by me for him to sit and relax. There wasn't any chivalrous offer for him to take care of it all.
That's what it was like with him, knowing what to expect and how each other would react in a given circumstance.
It was nice.
ms: And do you think he would've said the same about you?
B: Yes. He'd probably say it more eloquently, but, yes.
ms: How long did you guys live together?
B: Six months.
ms: Happiest time of your life?
B: Without a doubt.
ms: Can you tell me why?
B: Everything was just easy. Even when we disagreed, it was always over before the next day. We didn't carry anything around with us. Everything was in the open and everything we wanted to say was said. I don't think I've ever been that honest with anyone. I don't think anyone is.
And it wasn't even like we had similar personalities. I was direct and he was more flowery about putting things.
It just worked for us. I didn't have to balance his bad qualities against his good qualities. They were just Joshua's qualities, better or worse.
ms: So marriage was in the works?
B: Yes.
ms: The whole shebang--kids, house, dog in the yard?
B: Yes.
ms: Then what happened?
B: He died. Auto accident.
ms: I'm sorry. I'm sure you were devastated.
B: It's alright. I try not to think about it now. I'm doing better.
ms: What's always struck me as courageous on your part is the fact you maintain that you consider yourself lucky. Most people would consider that a horrible blow to be dealt, especially after only knowing him for such a short time. Why do you consider yourself lucky?
B: I could have gone my entire life without meeting him. I would've missed out on all that we did have. We had something real and, while we had it, it was the best.
ms: So you don't wish you could have him for longer--another month, another year perhaps? You don't imagine how things might have happened differently?
B: No. I'm happy with the way things turned out. I miss him, but I know what I got and I wouldn't want to trade that away so easily. If it means giving a small part about how I feel, then I'd rather keep what I know was good, what I know was bad, and all the rest.
They're our memories, both of us together. I don't need any more to know what I had was worth.
ms: How about saying good-bye? Do you wish you'd been able to say good-bye?
B: I did say good-bye, my own good-bye, before he was buried. That was enough.
ms: The other thing I've always admired about you is how steadfast you remain to that ideal of love being something real and permanent.
B: Thank you, I guess. I don't know how to respond to that.
ms: What I mean is that you claim you don't want to look for anyone else?
B: No.
ms: Is that because you think you'll be dishonoring his memory or because you don't think it'd be right to move on without him?
B: No. I think he'd want me to be happy.
ms: But not a single date since he died? It's been six years, you said.
B: It has.
ms: Then why shut yourself away? You don't think you can love again?
B: I could. Being able to love again and wanting to love again are two different things, though.
ms: So you don't want to love again?
B: There's a point where you know this is the happiest you'll ever be and that you'll never be happier. That point was Joshua. I could either choose to focus on how nothing compares to that time, to him, or I can focus on what I did have once.
There'd be no point in pretending anyone else could compare.
ms: So when people ask you how you're doing?
B: I tell them the truth. I tell them that I fell in love with someone wonderful, who treated me wonderful, and who I'll love for the rest of my life.
Does it get any better than that?
Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers
Tomorrow one of my favorite movies from 2007 comes out on DVD. I don't know if it's even fair to call Once a movie. I mean--the entire thing was shot in less than two weeks on reportedly $10,000. It feels like watching a home movie about two people who meet, fall in love in an instant, and their subsequent thrusts and parries into and at love. I don't want to spoil what happens, but sufficed it to say it has a lot in common with Curly's old line in City Slickers when he was asked if he ever fell in love before. He answers simply "once." That's what this movie is like. Since it's told over the span of three or four days, it's not so much about whether these two unnamed characters have a relationship that lasts years and years; it's more about the careful study of how quickly one does fall and what one is capable of when in the midst of such heady inspiration. Yes, the movie is a musical, but unlike most musicals it never segues into people bursting into song. It's about how two musicians who meet and make that connection that so hard to find make beautiful together. When the songs play, it never feels like they're tacked onto the plot. They are the plot. The songs these two characters play are the songs that each inspires from the other. It's the music that happens in such miraculous collaborations. They're singing as they're writing them, working on them, as they're trying to put into music and lyrics what they're feeling because what they're feeling would be too embarrassing to say to one another.I daresay it's the most romantic and true-to-life picture of what true love is supposed to feel like I've seen this year. It doesn't matter what happens after the movie ends, what happens to the characters. This was their inception into something resplendent. They'll always have that.
Or, as the movie poster asks:
How often do you find the right person?
Once
it's time that you won
----
from a conversation I had on 12/08/07...
mojo shivers: State your name and how long we've known each other.
Brandy: Dr. Brandy Peirs. And what? '91? That would make it sixteen years very off and then back on again in the last year-and-a-half.
ms: And just to give people a sense of who you are, how would you describe yourself?
B: I try to think of myself as a simple person--nothing too flashy. I try to be direct whenever possible--I believe you called me unimaginative to a credit a few months back. I am nothing if not practical.
ms: So you're not prone to bouts of impulse or spur-of-the-moment decisions?
B: Not usually.
ms: But you've fallen in love, right?
B: Once.
ms: And that wasn't a conscious decision? You knew right away, you said.
B: I did.
ms: You never questioned it? You never took a step back and tried to rationalize it?
B: No, with Joshua I knew.
ms: How could you be sure?
B: Well, for one, I was with someone for four years--through high school and into college. I thought the two of us were on a path for marriage for sure. But once I met Joshua, I knew the guy I was with wasn't the one.
ms: And after four years you just ended things? That quickly?
B: I did.
ms: But you claim you're not impulsive?
B: I'm usually not. There are just some decisions that become clear once you see them. He was one of them.
ms: Then you and Joshua started going out...
B: We did.
ms: And you eventually moved in together?
B: After four months.
ms: How could you be so sure? What was it about him that made you act so rashly and impetuously?
B: The easiest way I can describe it is that we fell into a rhythm one another. Almost immediately. I didn't have to explain to him how I did things, nor him to me.
I can remember our first dinner together at my home, before we moved in. I had started to clean up and was beginning to rinse the dishes to load into the dishwasher. He came up and began clearing the rest of the table while I stayed at the sink. It was like we had been doing it for years. There wasn't any awkward protest by me for him to sit and relax. There wasn't any chivalrous offer for him to take care of it all.
That's what it was like with him, knowing what to expect and how each other would react in a given circumstance.
It was nice.
ms: And do you think he would've said the same about you?
B: Yes. He'd probably say it more eloquently, but, yes.
ms: How long did you guys live together?
B: Six months.
ms: Happiest time of your life?
B: Without a doubt.
ms: Can you tell me why?
B: Everything was just easy. Even when we disagreed, it was always over before the next day. We didn't carry anything around with us. Everything was in the open and everything we wanted to say was said. I don't think I've ever been that honest with anyone. I don't think anyone is.
And it wasn't even like we had similar personalities. I was direct and he was more flowery about putting things.
It just worked for us. I didn't have to balance his bad qualities against his good qualities. They were just Joshua's qualities, better or worse.
ms: So marriage was in the works?
B: Yes.
ms: The whole shebang--kids, house, dog in the yard?
B: Yes.
ms: Then what happened?
B: He died. Auto accident.
ms: I'm sorry. I'm sure you were devastated.
B: It's alright. I try not to think about it now. I'm doing better.
ms: What's always struck me as courageous on your part is the fact you maintain that you consider yourself lucky. Most people would consider that a horrible blow to be dealt, especially after only knowing him for such a short time. Why do you consider yourself lucky?
B: I could have gone my entire life without meeting him. I would've missed out on all that we did have. We had something real and, while we had it, it was the best.
ms: So you don't wish you could have him for longer--another month, another year perhaps? You don't imagine how things might have happened differently?
B: No. I'm happy with the way things turned out. I miss him, but I know what I got and I wouldn't want to trade that away so easily. If it means giving a small part about how I feel, then I'd rather keep what I know was good, what I know was bad, and all the rest.
They're our memories, both of us together. I don't need any more to know what I had was worth.
ms: How about saying good-bye? Do you wish you'd been able to say good-bye?
B: I did say good-bye, my own good-bye, before he was buried. That was enough.
ms: The other thing I've always admired about you is how steadfast you remain to that ideal of love being something real and permanent.
B: Thank you, I guess. I don't know how to respond to that.
ms: What I mean is that you claim you don't want to look for anyone else?
B: No.
ms: Is that because you think you'll be dishonoring his memory or because you don't think it'd be right to move on without him?
B: No. I think he'd want me to be happy.
ms: But not a single date since he died? It's been six years, you said.
B: It has.
ms: Then why shut yourself away? You don't think you can love again?
B: I could. Being able to love again and wanting to love again are two different things, though.
ms: So you don't want to love again?
B: There's a point where you know this is the happiest you'll ever be and that you'll never be happier. That point was Joshua. I could either choose to focus on how nothing compares to that time, to him, or I can focus on what I did have once.
There'd be no point in pretending anyone else could compare.
ms: So when people ask you how you're doing?
B: I tell them the truth. I tell them that I fell in love with someone wonderful, who treated me wonderful, and who I'll love for the rest of my life.
Does it get any better than that?
Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers
posted by mojo shivers @ 1:36 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home