Closing Time, One Last Call For Alcohol, So Finish Your Whiskey Or Beer, Closing Time, You Don't Have To Go Home But You Can't Stay Here
--"Closing Time", Semisonic
I started working at Crown Books May of 1995. Originally I had trained at the Hastings Ranch branch, but it was all in preparation to open the store in La Canada. When we finally were able to open the store it was already July and I was rather perturbed at having to get used to a brand-new layout, not to mention that Hastings Ranch was literally blocks away from me while La Canada was a good ten-minute drive. The plan was that I would see how working at the bookstore would rate. If I didn't like it or if I didn't think I could hack while maintaining five classes at USC I would quit within the first few months after school started again. If I did like it, I would stay on for a good year. The plan was to make this a nice, easy job to get some more experience on my resume.
The plan certainly was not to stay five years.
I don't know how that happened. I suppose it had to do with the fact that, as far as jobs go, it wasn't very difficult. It was tedious. It was stressful at times. It was even inconvenient at others. The one thing it wasn't was hard. I mean--how taxing can alphabetizing books, running a register, and answering questions be. Nope, the reason stayed wasn't because I found the duties spiritually challenging or satisfying.
The reason I stayed was because, of any job I've ever had, the crew that passed in and out of Crown Books La Canada at 475 Foothill Boulevard was by far the most close-knit and family-like. I should know. I was there for five out of the six years it was business so the majority of them I knew since the first day they started working there. I already mentioned Heidi and how I'll never forget her. There were others, though. I made great friends with people like Tenny, Jennifer, Heather, Nick, Melody, and even towards the end I even started hanging out with my last manager there, Paul. In fact, almost all the managers I was on pretty decent terms with--starting with Susie, then Barb, then John, then Paul. Having only twelve people total working the store, four managers and eight employees, you get to know them fairly well. If I could compare it to any movie, it would be like how well and tightly knit the employees were in Empire Records. We were that involved with one another.
Aside from Heidi (sigh), one other employee stood out. Tom.
Tom started working there about six months after me. I remember the first time I met him on the floor it was like we'd been hanging out for years because I told him to follow me to play some practical joke on one of the other employees. No introducing myself, no getting to know him first--I basically roped him in to one of my shenanigans and that's how he became my best friend at the store. We couldn't have been more different--he was a total player, having eventually dated and slept with every unattached female employee under a certain age at the store... except Heidi, out of deference to our friendship; he was six years older me with a kid with an ex he had stopped seeing only a year before; he was just unmotivated to do anything huge with his life. Some might have called it laziness; I just attributed it to the fact that he was like Toby. He was just a person that found the joy in the everyday small things and that thinking about the huger issues only brought him down.
Tom was also one of the most genuine people I've ever met. Unlike most of my friends he was simple in a good way. He didn't have any hidden agendas. He never tried to pull one over on you. If you were his friend, he would bend over backwards for you. I remember when Tara and I broke up, he's the first person to suggest Swingers as a cure-all remedy. I also remember going to The Cure concert at the Greek with him when he was dating Tamyra, our assistant manager, or going to The Derby with him when he was dating Tenny. He didn't have to ask me along, but whenever a place or an activity was brought up in conversation he would always suggest going to anyone in earshot. It didn't matter if he knew you four years or only one week; everyone was welcome to pal along with him. I think it was the Deadhead in him; he just didn't know that you didn't have to include everyone when you were making plans. If you were there, he thought you should come--it was that simple.
And that guy was loyal to a fault. I remember one of the funniest examples being that he actually caused one of our managers to quit over who was a better friend to me, him or our manager, Krista. I'd gone to elementary school with Krista so it was kind of a shock when they hired her for our assistant manager, but she turned out to be pretty cool even though we hadn't seen each other for six years. However, those six years of separation caused me to rightly believe that we weren't close. Well, one day Tom's joking around with her about how he could never get me to try pot with him (he was always going to the store's restroom mysteriously at 4:20 every day rain or shine when he worked). He tells Krista on a lark that one day he's just going to ask me out to his car and he would just hotbox it. He would lock the doors and just forced me to inhale. When he recounted the story, I just laughed because I knew he was joking. Krista, however, got all out of sorts. She started yelling at him in front of everybody how I wasn't into doing drugs and how dare he force me to do something against my will. The kicker was when she told him, "I've known him for ten years, better than you, and I know he would never do that sort of thing!"
And I'll never forget what he said. "I'm a way better friend and the two of you weren't even friends in school. You know how I know that? Because he told me!"
Krista quit the day after that fight.
I always thought it amusing that the competition between who was a closer friend to me partly influenced somebody to quit their job.
Eventually, after I graduated, I began to seriously think about moving on from there. I mean--I had my degree already. What possible reason could I have for staying on at a store that was barely paying me five bucks an hour? The only reason I could come up with was the fact I'd miss working with people like Tom. I'd miss their company. I wasn't stupid. I knew most companies I would work for I'd be on friendly terms with, but the camaraderie I shared with those folks would never be equaled. There would be no three hour lunches for me just so I could pick up all eight employees lunches from eight different restaurants (at my suggestion, mind you--it was kind of like a road rally to see how fast I could hit all eight destinations and get back to the store). There would be no Disco Saturday Nights where we would send somebody out for a bucket of KFC and blast the three hour block of disco songs that played every Saturday night on the radio when we were closing. There would be no talking to Heidi for hours at a time in the aisles when we really should have been working. There would be no going to the movies with my boss because we really were close friends.
There would be none of that. It would be just a job.
That's probably why I ended up staying three years after I graduated, because of people like Tom. The way I was figuring it, I had a few years to get my career started, but once I lost all the close relationships I had at that job, I would never get them back. Yes, my work friends had also become my outside friends, but I knew the statistics. Once I stopped working there it would be harder and harder to find reasons to see them. Once I stopped working next to them it would be more difficult to bring up in casual conversation that we should do something that weekend.
Yet I needed to leave. It was getting too expensive for me to live. I needed something that paid me better, even if it meant giving up all those people.
When I eventually did leave I didn't give two weeks notice. I didn't even tell anyone I was thinking about leaving. I just called in and said that I'd found another job. Paul, I remembered, was furious. I believe he hung up the phone on me. But Tom and a few of the others called and congratulated me. He didn't go into a whole spiel about who I'd deserted him and the rest of the crew. He just asked if I was going to be happy in my new job. When I told him yes, that was enough for me.
He gave me his number as well as the numbers of the other people who wanted to stay in contact with me. Silly me, I was too proud to call them. I answered their calls, but DeAnn and I had just moved in together and I had that new job to keep me occupied. I never did manage to come back to La Canada to hang out with them ever again. As predicted, as soon as I stopped working there it all fell apart. I had severed all ability to be friends with those people, be friends with Tom.
And you know what the worst part about it is? It's been about eight years since I stopped working there and sometimes I consider catching up with Tom, but for the life of me I can't remember what his last name is. I know I knew it at one time... but for so long whenever he called me or I called him he was just Tom. It just never occurred to me that we wouldn't be friends one day to write down his last name.
Like I said, leaving that job was like leaving home and leaving those people who worked there hurt even worse than leaving my own family when I moved out. But we all need to leave home eventually.
And once that happens it's painful but it's true, sometimes you just can't go home again.
Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers
I started working at Crown Books May of 1995. Originally I had trained at the Hastings Ranch branch, but it was all in preparation to open the store in La Canada. When we finally were able to open the store it was already July and I was rather perturbed at having to get used to a brand-new layout, not to mention that Hastings Ranch was literally blocks away from me while La Canada was a good ten-minute drive. The plan was that I would see how working at the bookstore would rate. If I didn't like it or if I didn't think I could hack while maintaining five classes at USC I would quit within the first few months after school started again. If I did like it, I would stay on for a good year. The plan was to make this a nice, easy job to get some more experience on my resume.The plan certainly was not to stay five years.
I don't know how that happened. I suppose it had to do with the fact that, as far as jobs go, it wasn't very difficult. It was tedious. It was stressful at times. It was even inconvenient at others. The one thing it wasn't was hard. I mean--how taxing can alphabetizing books, running a register, and answering questions be. Nope, the reason stayed wasn't because I found the duties spiritually challenging or satisfying.
The reason I stayed was because, of any job I've ever had, the crew that passed in and out of Crown Books La Canada at 475 Foothill Boulevard was by far the most close-knit and family-like. I should know. I was there for five out of the six years it was business so the majority of them I knew since the first day they started working there. I already mentioned Heidi and how I'll never forget her. There were others, though. I made great friends with people like Tenny, Jennifer, Heather, Nick, Melody, and even towards the end I even started hanging out with my last manager there, Paul. In fact, almost all the managers I was on pretty decent terms with--starting with Susie, then Barb, then John, then Paul. Having only twelve people total working the store, four managers and eight employees, you get to know them fairly well. If I could compare it to any movie, it would be like how well and tightly knit the employees were in Empire Records. We were that involved with one another.
Aside from Heidi (sigh), one other employee stood out. Tom.
Tom started working there about six months after me. I remember the first time I met him on the floor it was like we'd been hanging out for years because I told him to follow me to play some practical joke on one of the other employees. No introducing myself, no getting to know him first--I basically roped him in to one of my shenanigans and that's how he became my best friend at the store. We couldn't have been more different--he was a total player, having eventually dated and slept with every unattached female employee under a certain age at the store... except Heidi, out of deference to our friendship; he was six years older me with a kid with an ex he had stopped seeing only a year before; he was just unmotivated to do anything huge with his life. Some might have called it laziness; I just attributed it to the fact that he was like Toby. He was just a person that found the joy in the everyday small things and that thinking about the huger issues only brought him down.
Tom was also one of the most genuine people I've ever met. Unlike most of my friends he was simple in a good way. He didn't have any hidden agendas. He never tried to pull one over on you. If you were his friend, he would bend over backwards for you. I remember when Tara and I broke up, he's the first person to suggest Swingers as a cure-all remedy. I also remember going to The Cure concert at the Greek with him when he was dating Tamyra, our assistant manager, or going to The Derby with him when he was dating Tenny. He didn't have to ask me along, but whenever a place or an activity was brought up in conversation he would always suggest going to anyone in earshot. It didn't matter if he knew you four years or only one week; everyone was welcome to pal along with him. I think it was the Deadhead in him; he just didn't know that you didn't have to include everyone when you were making plans. If you were there, he thought you should come--it was that simple.
And that guy was loyal to a fault. I remember one of the funniest examples being that he actually caused one of our managers to quit over who was a better friend to me, him or our manager, Krista. I'd gone to elementary school with Krista so it was kind of a shock when they hired her for our assistant manager, but she turned out to be pretty cool even though we hadn't seen each other for six years. However, those six years of separation caused me to rightly believe that we weren't close. Well, one day Tom's joking around with her about how he could never get me to try pot with him (he was always going to the store's restroom mysteriously at 4:20 every day rain or shine when he worked). He tells Krista on a lark that one day he's just going to ask me out to his car and he would just hotbox it. He would lock the doors and just forced me to inhale. When he recounted the story, I just laughed because I knew he was joking. Krista, however, got all out of sorts. She started yelling at him in front of everybody how I wasn't into doing drugs and how dare he force me to do something against my will. The kicker was when she told him, "I've known him for ten years, better than you, and I know he would never do that sort of thing!"
And I'll never forget what he said. "I'm a way better friend and the two of you weren't even friends in school. You know how I know that? Because he told me!"
Krista quit the day after that fight.
I always thought it amusing that the competition between who was a closer friend to me partly influenced somebody to quit their job.
Eventually, after I graduated, I began to seriously think about moving on from there. I mean--I had my degree already. What possible reason could I have for staying on at a store that was barely paying me five bucks an hour? The only reason I could come up with was the fact I'd miss working with people like Tom. I'd miss their company. I wasn't stupid. I knew most companies I would work for I'd be on friendly terms with, but the camaraderie I shared with those folks would never be equaled. There would be no three hour lunches for me just so I could pick up all eight employees lunches from eight different restaurants (at my suggestion, mind you--it was kind of like a road rally to see how fast I could hit all eight destinations and get back to the store). There would be no Disco Saturday Nights where we would send somebody out for a bucket of KFC and blast the three hour block of disco songs that played every Saturday night on the radio when we were closing. There would be no talking to Heidi for hours at a time in the aisles when we really should have been working. There would be no going to the movies with my boss because we really were close friends.
There would be none of that. It would be just a job.
That's probably why I ended up staying three years after I graduated, because of people like Tom. The way I was figuring it, I had a few years to get my career started, but once I lost all the close relationships I had at that job, I would never get them back. Yes, my work friends had also become my outside friends, but I knew the statistics. Once I stopped working there it would be harder and harder to find reasons to see them. Once I stopped working next to them it would be more difficult to bring up in casual conversation that we should do something that weekend.
Yet I needed to leave. It was getting too expensive for me to live. I needed something that paid me better, even if it meant giving up all those people.
When I eventually did leave I didn't give two weeks notice. I didn't even tell anyone I was thinking about leaving. I just called in and said that I'd found another job. Paul, I remembered, was furious. I believe he hung up the phone on me. But Tom and a few of the others called and congratulated me. He didn't go into a whole spiel about who I'd deserted him and the rest of the crew. He just asked if I was going to be happy in my new job. When I told him yes, that was enough for me.
He gave me his number as well as the numbers of the other people who wanted to stay in contact with me. Silly me, I was too proud to call them. I answered their calls, but DeAnn and I had just moved in together and I had that new job to keep me occupied. I never did manage to come back to La Canada to hang out with them ever again. As predicted, as soon as I stopped working there it all fell apart. I had severed all ability to be friends with those people, be friends with Tom.
And you know what the worst part about it is? It's been about eight years since I stopped working there and sometimes I consider catching up with Tom, but for the life of me I can't remember what his last name is. I know I knew it at one time... but for so long whenever he called me or I called him he was just Tom. It just never occurred to me that we wouldn't be friends one day to write down his last name.
Like I said, leaving that job was like leaving home and leaving those people who worked there hurt even worse than leaving my own family when I moved out. But we all need to leave home eventually.
And once that happens it's painful but it's true, sometimes you just can't go home again.
Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers
Labels: closure, Crown Books, Memory, Semisonic, Tom
posted by mojo shivers @ 1:51 AM
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