Our Last Wishes Know We Cannot Chase, One, Played Calm, The Song Strings Belong, But Please, For Keys, I Turn To Hear You Sing A False Reprieve
--"An Anniversary Away", Reverie Sound Revue
In a few days it will officially be ten years (!) since I first moved in with DeAnn. First in Ontario, then later in Fontana--we stayed together for about fifteen months. Some of the days were better than others, but on the whole it was a very trying experience.
At the time I thought she would be the only girl I ever lived with and, so far, it's proven to be true.
I can't place the blame on her, though. The bad taste I have in my mouth regarding with living with someone you're romantically involved with might stem from my own proclivities. I am probably a hard person to live with. I know in the time I spent with DeAnn during those months there were stretches where I just didn't want to be around here. Even having my own "study" wasn't enough to subdue the feeling of being trapped with her 24/7. It didn't help that I also had to see her at the office. I don't think any relationship which is rocky to begin with can stand up to the pressure of seeing that same person at work and at home.
It lead to a lot of arguments that had nothing to do with the subject of the argument and everything to do with the weariness of having to deal with the same person over and over again. It's brought me to the conclusion that were I to live with another woman I'm involved with it will be after serious consideration. If there's one thing that living with DeAnn taught me it's that the surest way to doom any relationship is to move in to soon with a person. I don't think I was ready for that step at that age. I don't think either of us were. And maybe that was a sign in itself that the foundation of our wanting to be together wasn't really strong, but a part of me believes that if we had just waited everything might have worked out.
If I live with someone else it'll be because I can't imagine spending a second away from them rather than the idea that it's the next logical step. I want to be able to say that ten years after moving in with someone that, incredibly, the desire to keep right on living with them is still there.
That's the kind of anniversary I'm looking forward to next.
Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers
In a few days it will officially be ten years (!) since I first moved in with DeAnn. First in Ontario, then later in Fontana--we stayed together for about fifteen months. Some of the days were better than others, but on the whole it was a very trying experience.At the time I thought she would be the only girl I ever lived with and, so far, it's proven to be true.
I can't place the blame on her, though. The bad taste I have in my mouth regarding with living with someone you're romantically involved with might stem from my own proclivities. I am probably a hard person to live with. I know in the time I spent with DeAnn during those months there were stretches where I just didn't want to be around here. Even having my own "study" wasn't enough to subdue the feeling of being trapped with her 24/7. It didn't help that I also had to see her at the office. I don't think any relationship which is rocky to begin with can stand up to the pressure of seeing that same person at work and at home.
It lead to a lot of arguments that had nothing to do with the subject of the argument and everything to do with the weariness of having to deal with the same person over and over again. It's brought me to the conclusion that were I to live with another woman I'm involved with it will be after serious consideration. If there's one thing that living with DeAnn taught me it's that the surest way to doom any relationship is to move in to soon with a person. I don't think I was ready for that step at that age. I don't think either of us were. And maybe that was a sign in itself that the foundation of our wanting to be together wasn't really strong, but a part of me believes that if we had just waited everything might have worked out.
If I live with someone else it'll be because I can't imagine spending a second away from them rather than the idea that it's the next logical step. I want to be able to say that ten years after moving in with someone that, incredibly, the desire to keep right on living with them is still there.
That's the kind of anniversary I'm looking forward to next.
Yours Swimmingly,
mojo shivers
Labels: Anniversary, DeAnn, living with someone, relationships, Reverie Sound Revue
posted by mojo shivers @ 12:56 PM
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